Post by ShadowCatJen on Nov 9, 2007 14:26:09 GMT -5
Yup, that time again for me to spew forth words with the hope to make things more insightful for players of this game, both new and old. Again, none of this is aimed at any individual or any situation. This is simply my views and opinions taken from my online experiences that I've had over the years.
For reference, here's the Me Itus thread:
frc.proboards37.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1184717990
Sometimes it's easy to forget that you are part of something larger and that what you do can, indeed, effect lots of others. It's also easy to forget that all of us, from the Server Administrator, to the DMs, all the way down to the newest of new players, is human.
We're all people. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We have good days, bad days, so-so days, off days, on days. Sometimes we get tired, sometimes ill, sometimes drunk. Sometimes we can get angry, frustrated, disappointed. Other times happy, elated, and filled with pride for someone. We can some days forget something and other days remember events with startling clarity.
Let's take this further.
I believe that no one is inherently evil. However, people can be selfish, stubborn, manipulative, unreasonably jealous, and intolerant of other views. Lots of times we glaze over these qualities in ourselves, but tend to perceive it in others. In this cynical world, it's always easier to assume the worst.
"Where are you going with this, Jen, you sanctimonious prick?"
Well I'll tell you.
If you happen to have a standard that you hold yourself and others to, do not get angry or think yourself above them just because they don't meet your standard. No one here is "better" then anyone else. If a person admits to a mistake, don't think yourself above them still and that they've gone up a notch on your oh so arrogant personal scale.
When a situation comes up where you feel you have been wronged, it does not give you carte blanche to just post about it openly. Take screen caps, take logs, then PM a DM with it. I mention this specifically because lately (more then any other time I could remember before) many have brought up their issues and anger openly. When done this way, all it seems is you are simply trying to garner support with your specific point of view before allowing others to defend themselves. In the end, the thread gets locked and the DMs have to see to the situation anyway. The hurt feelings and embarrassment can be avoided if you just bring it up to a DM from the start.
Players, do not assume that DMs are only on a power trip when they tell you you've done something wrong. Do not assume they are only in that position or take that stance because they think they are better then you. Do not assume that they don't care about your questions or concerns because it's too bothersome for them.
DMs, do not assume that players do things just for their own selfish reasons. Do not assume silence to mean admittance to some wrong doing. Do not take complaining to mean complete discontentment.
There is nothing wrong with being a Devil's Advocate. Lots of times being able to try and understand things from another point of view can alleviate intolerance and assumptions. If you see things only from your point of view, then you're only thinking of yourself.
Which brings us all back to "Me Itus".
If you carry only one point of view and don't even alter your thoughts due to a standard you have, then you are not being part of the community. If you can't comprehend that there is a human being at the other end of that PC or DM you are interacting with then you need to check your ego a the door. If you can't understand that being human means to be fallible to emotions, mistakes, and misunderstandings, then you need to not play in a multi-player environment and stick to single player games.
You are not the only person here. You don't know everything that goes on. You are not always right. These are things I've had to learn and am still trying to learn as I enjoy playing this game.
For reference, here's the Me Itus thread:
frc.proboards37.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1184717990
Sometimes it's easy to forget that you are part of something larger and that what you do can, indeed, effect lots of others. It's also easy to forget that all of us, from the Server Administrator, to the DMs, all the way down to the newest of new players, is human.
We're all people. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We have good days, bad days, so-so days, off days, on days. Sometimes we get tired, sometimes ill, sometimes drunk. Sometimes we can get angry, frustrated, disappointed. Other times happy, elated, and filled with pride for someone. We can some days forget something and other days remember events with startling clarity.
Let's take this further.
I believe that no one is inherently evil. However, people can be selfish, stubborn, manipulative, unreasonably jealous, and intolerant of other views. Lots of times we glaze over these qualities in ourselves, but tend to perceive it in others. In this cynical world, it's always easier to assume the worst.
"Where are you going with this, Jen, you sanctimonious prick?"
Well I'll tell you.
If you happen to have a standard that you hold yourself and others to, do not get angry or think yourself above them just because they don't meet your standard. No one here is "better" then anyone else. If a person admits to a mistake, don't think yourself above them still and that they've gone up a notch on your oh so arrogant personal scale.
When a situation comes up where you feel you have been wronged, it does not give you carte blanche to just post about it openly. Take screen caps, take logs, then PM a DM with it. I mention this specifically because lately (more then any other time I could remember before) many have brought up their issues and anger openly. When done this way, all it seems is you are simply trying to garner support with your specific point of view before allowing others to defend themselves. In the end, the thread gets locked and the DMs have to see to the situation anyway. The hurt feelings and embarrassment can be avoided if you just bring it up to a DM from the start.
Players, do not assume that DMs are only on a power trip when they tell you you've done something wrong. Do not assume they are only in that position or take that stance because they think they are better then you. Do not assume that they don't care about your questions or concerns because it's too bothersome for them.
DMs, do not assume that players do things just for their own selfish reasons. Do not assume silence to mean admittance to some wrong doing. Do not take complaining to mean complete discontentment.
There is nothing wrong with being a Devil's Advocate. Lots of times being able to try and understand things from another point of view can alleviate intolerance and assumptions. If you see things only from your point of view, then you're only thinking of yourself.
Which brings us all back to "Me Itus".
If you carry only one point of view and don't even alter your thoughts due to a standard you have, then you are not being part of the community. If you can't comprehend that there is a human being at the other end of that PC or DM you are interacting with then you need to check your ego a the door. If you can't understand that being human means to be fallible to emotions, mistakes, and misunderstandings, then you need to not play in a multi-player environment and stick to single player games.
You are not the only person here. You don't know everything that goes on. You are not always right. These are things I've had to learn and am still trying to learn as I enjoy playing this game.