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Post by brian333 on Jan 4, 2009 16:15:21 GMT -5
Lydia's Fabulous Flaming Underwear:
Want to spark that old romantic flame? Wear clothes that light up your figure, and the room, and the neighborhood!
(Manufacturer not responsible for inappropriate or immoral use of this product.)
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Post by soulfien on Jan 4, 2009 16:57:07 GMT -5
Garistan's Robes
These robes protect the wearer two times per day by shrouding him or her in a glowing field which absorbs a great deal of damage. As an unfortunate side-effect, it turns the wearer pink.
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Post by ancientempathy on Jan 5, 2009 4:52:18 GMT -5
So I took some creative license. Kelric's boots smell bad. :-P ROFL |
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Post by Munroe on Jan 5, 2009 12:08:36 GMT -5
Lydia's Fabulous Flaming Underwear: Want to spark that old romantic flame? Wear clothes that light up your figure, and the room, and the neighborhood! (Manufacturer not responsible for inappropriate or immoral use of this product.) You assume Lydia wears underwear. |
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Post by The Supreme Watcher on Jan 5, 2009 14:06:53 GMT -5
You assume Lydia wears underwear. WHAM BAM! |
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Post by Micteu on Jan 5, 2009 23:32:45 GMT -5
You assume Lydia wears underwear. That's because he's probably seen them.  |
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Post by brian333 on Jan 6, 2009 0:35:57 GMT -5
Hasn't everyone?
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Post by Micteu on Jan 6, 2009 10:51:02 GMT -5
She wears her underpants on the outside? Come to think of that, I believe one of her outfits does appear to be that way.
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Post by Spirit of a Phoenix on Jan 6, 2009 16:29:09 GMT -5
Kind of like Uju's?  |
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Post by soulfien on Jan 6, 2009 17:16:48 GMT -5
i think this thread passed the point of no return
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Post by SlothfulCat on Jan 6, 2009 18:23:47 GMT -5
Adelius's Epic Bent Blade of A Million Smitings
This bastard sword was weilded by the insane warrior Adelius for the entirety of his adventuring career. Some say it has seen the blood of foes from Kobolds and Ranan Hallomein all the way to the dread Cormyrian Death Rats and mighty red dragons.
Base Item: Bastard Sword
Enchancement Bonus: +1
//To my knowledge Adelius never used another blade until his last outing on the server where he found another sword.
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Post by Pookey on Jan 7, 2009 12:57:19 GMT -5
i think this thread passed the point of no return Not until DM Constructicon brings up midget porn. That's our usual marker. |
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Post by soulfien on Jan 7, 2009 13:19:02 GMT -5
Sharita's Shoe
Legend says that this shoe was worn by Sharita Amraphen-Gallen while in her evening dress. Once while on a walk to the Keep of the Silver Shields, she and two others were beset by kobolds. Having no other recourse, she bravely took off her shoe and hurled it at one of the kobolds as her companions drew steel and rushed ahead.
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Post by Quadhund/Greenhouse on Jan 7, 2009 15:16:59 GMT -5
Hrothgar's magic coin
One of Hrothgar's worst thieving tactics was to place a gold coin in the middle of the road and await for an unawares adventurer to pick it up, leaving his coin purse in available to be pilfered. However, every time he tried to place the coin down in the middle of the road, the only response that was had was every adventurer in the area casting a spell or drinking a potion to give themselves the ability to see magically altered or invisible things, including himself.
1 time use
Snap your fingers and a magic coin appears within a 10 ft. radius of yourself. Anyone that lays eyes on it instantly feels the urge to cast a true seeing spell or use a true seeing potion.
Hrothgar's back biting short sword
While not at all useful to the wielder, when this sword enters a shadow, it instantly disappears from wherever it was, and appears directly behind the nearest person also in a shadow. That person then feels a menacing prodding in their nether region as if they were being mugged.
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Post by qewaye on Jan 7, 2009 15:24:56 GMT -5
Isiolith's Camoflage Cloak.
Makes the wearer impossible to see, it's so sneaky if you hang in the wardrobe you may never find it again.
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Post by Rook on Jan 7, 2009 15:26:15 GMT -5
Not until DM Constructicon brings up midget porn. That's our usual marker. ROFLMAO As Homer Simpson would say, "it's funny because it's true." |
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Post by Charon's Claw on Jan 7, 2009 16:35:17 GMT -5
*groan*
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Post by Micteu on Jan 7, 2009 21:16:18 GMT -5
*perks up* Dwarves?!? *chugs a tankard*
Bring out the bearded ladies! I'm ready!
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Post by ancientempathy on Jan 7, 2009 21:37:36 GMT -5
Not until DM Constructicon brings up midget porn. That's our usual marker. ROFLMAO As Homer Simpson would say, "it's funny because it's true." That secret was supposed to stay within the DM boards! |
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southwood
Old School
Chief Surfer Dude & Keeper of The Great BBQ Sauce
"Not so talky now with a belly full of hell are we?"-The Tick.
Posts: 401
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Post by southwood on Jan 10, 2009 8:59:22 GMT -5
Al's "m..ma..mage-be-gone" Cologne.
This nasty concoction was made for Al by a gnomish traveling salesman. Rumored to be made from the essences of librarian tears, Book worms, and pickled mindflayer tentacle.
When applied the user believes that they are immune to all arcane spells. Any magic using creature that comes within 15 feet of the user takes 1d6 olfactory damage and must make an immediate will save and intelligence check. Those failing their roles will feel compelled to destroy the wearer with their most powerful magics. Those who pass will put as much distance between themselves and the wearer not being able to stand the horrid smell.
Each vial contains 50 applications. One application last for six hours. 10% of all applications actually attract mages, magical creatures and does 1d6 olfactory damage, causing the wearer to run in panic until the cologne wears off.
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Post by Micteu on Jan 10, 2009 23:05:33 GMT -5
In homage of all the awesome dwarves, most of whom have identical personalities.
Dwarven Burr to Common Dictionary
The back cover of this book reads:
"Ever wonder what the dwarves are saying around you? Look no farther, for in your hands is the most up-to-date piece of information on dwarven language idiosyncrasies!
"The volume of knowledge before you contains everything from 'Och, leggo, ye bloody pansy!' (Release me from this Bigby’s Grasping Hand, pathetic elf!) to 'Aye lass, an yae kin grasp me haft after we killed the deaders.' (untranslated on this cover due to vulgarity).
"So why wait? With this book, soon you will be slinging slang with the most daring of dwarves!"
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Post by Helgrin Granitesoul on Jan 11, 2009 3:59:12 GMT -5
In homage of all the awesome dwarves, most of whom have identical personalities. Only if you listen to them speak Dornak - devote priest of Clangaddin and emissary to the tallin races. Actually has manners and can fit in to tallin society Grumm - Drunk arse, no class, womanizer that at one time would steal the gold teeth outta yer mouth. Now a almost honorable stout Kyrion - Pure Hearted loyal and fierce defender of his friends no matter what others thought of him.. even other dwarves.. *mutters about a certain female mage* Helgrin - Pure cantakerous old guff that pretty much dislikes most people other than those that have proven worthy of trust and never forgets a slight or betrayal. Absolutly loyal to his new clan and willing to do anything (even risk war with the crown) to protect his new home. Kasur - Betrayer of his kin when he joined the damn purple bucketheads!!!!! *mutters*.. J/k... Prime example of the lawful dwarf that follows the rules and manners of his own code even if it partially ostersized him from other stouts Harr'uk - damn tree hugger *mutters* but oddly gentle stout as long as you aint an orc, giant, ogre, goblin, or any of the other undesirable races.... Guldar - Independent black sheep of the dwarven race.. a caver and merchant extrodinare that could make a deal with the devil and come up smelling like roses in the eyes of his mother. Hafur - Dwarven skald and singer of tales. More positive then all the other stouts put together and always ready with a tale to tell. Grimnir - the quintesental dwarven miner. More at home in his hidden mines then at a dwarven hall. Gulda - The most misunderstood dwarven lass in the land.. Even dwarves cant understand half of what she says. And so many others.. to say they are the same in personality just cause they all speak like drunken irishmen.. doesnt do any of them justice. |
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Post by ancientempathy on Jan 11, 2009 5:04:07 GMT -5
LOL, I like Harr'uks
Well done on all those though
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Post by Micteu on Jan 11, 2009 16:40:15 GMT -5
they all speak like drunken irishmen. Ouch. I think that's a worse insult than anything I said. |
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Post by FireBeard on Jan 12, 2009 17:52:45 GMT -5
Well said buddy. I think all the dwarves are pretty unique. yes they all have common pieces to their character but dont all races in FRC? Any woo.
*goes an takes a long drink from his Helgrin's Everfull Tankard"
Just my two cents.
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Post by brian333 on Jan 18, 2009 10:52:49 GMT -5
Entori's Poncy Sandals
Worn by the archmage Entori for years, these lime-green shoes became imbued with his essence. They seem to be little more than exquisitely crafted open-toed slip-ons with piping, embroidered rosettes, and a sporty wedge. However, they have the power to force even the most masculine half-orc to walk with a daintiness usually seen only among the elves. The wearer gains a +15 bonus to disguise so long as his disguise attempts to portray an elf. When also wearing the Poncy Headband, Poncy Tunic, Poncy Love Beads, and Poncy Bell Bottomed Leggings, the disguise is almost impenetrable.
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Post by EDM Entori on Jan 18, 2009 11:28:48 GMT -5
ROFL!.. cost me soo much to get those crafted off the robe, I almost miss them
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Post by soulfien on Jan 18, 2009 19:59:16 GMT -5
Garistan's Boots
Bearing the mark of the Silver Shields (barely) these boots were worn by Garistan for decades. The boots have been repaired so many times that their original enchantments have faded leaving the shoes seemingly inert and mundane.
Every now and then however, the boots show a will of their own and cause the wearer to rush headlong into the thick of the largest hoards of foes. Always when the wearer is horribly out classed or outnumbered.
If the boots are taken off for an extended amount of time, they wander off on their own seeking new adventurers for adventure.
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Post by tskfrc58 on Jan 25, 2009 18:01:02 GMT -5
Hey, dont forget food items! Uthar's (Miraster the black) Deviled eggs Created by an true sommoned Baatezu! Containing only the finest ingredients and guaranteed to violate at least three laws of cormyr and bring about enmity with a planar creature Alignment shift evil  |
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Post by Micteu on Jan 26, 2009 13:11:34 GMT -5
Hey, dont forget food items! Uthar's (Miraster the black) Deviled eggs Created by an true sommoned Baatezu! Containing only the finest ingredients and guaranteed to violate at least three laws of cormyr and bring about enmity with a planar creature Alignment shift evil Were they from a female Baatezu? |
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