Post by Laurk on Feb 19, 2007 19:43:15 GMT -5
*Written on the front page of the Redmist Gazette*
Last night, a homeless crippled war veterin was apprehened defacing the "Heroes of Redmist" statues in our town square. Watchman Marl arrived on the scene before any serious damage could be done. The homeless man, known as Bobolob had only managed to break off the hero named Aelrik's codpiece.
Watchman Marl soon discovered that Bobolob had been paid an extravagant amount of gold in order deface the statues.
"Oi! thuts roight! E' paid me Two'underd lions jus ta whack up these statues!" said Bobolob after he was questioned by officials. As for the man responsible for fronting that extravagant sum of gold, Watchman Marl apprehended him right away after Bobolob pointed him out. Watchment Marl explains: "Ya, I caught the culpret alright! He tried to pass it off as a pack of lies he did! But he couldnt fool ol' Marl." Marl points at his head with a sly wink and then goes on; "Ya... he said the bum was just trying to discredit a rich man. With his filthy lies! Well, I put two and two together and figured that if he was sooo rich, maybe it was him that paid a whole years wage to us workin folk, just ta get ol' Bobolub to bust up our fine monument to the hero's of Redmist." Well, that bit of logic seems spot on. As it turns out, the culpret got away. This is what Marl had to say: "Well, I was just taken him in, see... he tried to resist, got all tough on me. But when you've been in the city watch as long as I have, fear isnt really an option anymore. I gave em' the ol' one two. Then I told em ta talk! He wouldnt say nuthin at first, sos I had ta put em in the "squeeze"... Oh sure... he talked. No one resists the "squeeze!". Turns out his name was Man-chin." Says the brave watchman. "So then he starts to cry like a little girl after I roughed em' up, and begs me ta take his medicine fer a condition. Since um a nice guy, I let em... but it was all a dirty trick. He takes one sip, and darts away like a shot! I chased em down fer about twelve blocks, but he narrowly escaped me when a cart overturned, pinnin' some orphans under it. I had ta go rescue em'." Watchman Marl has been commended for his bravery, and left the interview with these chilling words for the culpret: "If'n I ever catch that rascal Man-chin in my beautiful city again, you can be sure, Ill grab him by those big bush black mutton chops and give'm what for! No one defaces my city, or our heroes!" Bobolob was put in the drunk tank for the night and released in the morning. His two hundred lions were confiscated as evidence by the watch. As for the heroes of Redmist monument, a bill has been brought before the council to inact repairs to Aelrik's broken codpeace. It is expected to pass within the year.
Reporting to you,
Andrea Quickquill.
Redmist Gazette.
Last night, a homeless crippled war veterin was apprehened defacing the "Heroes of Redmist" statues in our town square. Watchman Marl arrived on the scene before any serious damage could be done. The homeless man, known as Bobolob had only managed to break off the hero named Aelrik's codpiece.
Watchman Marl soon discovered that Bobolob had been paid an extravagant amount of gold in order deface the statues.
"Oi! thuts roight! E' paid me Two'underd lions jus ta whack up these statues!" said Bobolob after he was questioned by officials. As for the man responsible for fronting that extravagant sum of gold, Watchman Marl apprehended him right away after Bobolob pointed him out. Watchment Marl explains: "Ya, I caught the culpret alright! He tried to pass it off as a pack of lies he did! But he couldnt fool ol' Marl." Marl points at his head with a sly wink and then goes on; "Ya... he said the bum was just trying to discredit a rich man. With his filthy lies! Well, I put two and two together and figured that if he was sooo rich, maybe it was him that paid a whole years wage to us workin folk, just ta get ol' Bobolub to bust up our fine monument to the hero's of Redmist." Well, that bit of logic seems spot on. As it turns out, the culpret got away. This is what Marl had to say: "Well, I was just taken him in, see... he tried to resist, got all tough on me. But when you've been in the city watch as long as I have, fear isnt really an option anymore. I gave em' the ol' one two. Then I told em ta talk! He wouldnt say nuthin at first, sos I had ta put em in the "squeeze"... Oh sure... he talked. No one resists the "squeeze!". Turns out his name was Man-chin." Says the brave watchman. "So then he starts to cry like a little girl after I roughed em' up, and begs me ta take his medicine fer a condition. Since um a nice guy, I let em... but it was all a dirty trick. He takes one sip, and darts away like a shot! I chased em down fer about twelve blocks, but he narrowly escaped me when a cart overturned, pinnin' some orphans under it. I had ta go rescue em'." Watchman Marl has been commended for his bravery, and left the interview with these chilling words for the culpret: "If'n I ever catch that rascal Man-chin in my beautiful city again, you can be sure, Ill grab him by those big bush black mutton chops and give'm what for! No one defaces my city, or our heroes!" Bobolob was put in the drunk tank for the night and released in the morning. His two hundred lions were confiscated as evidence by the watch. As for the heroes of Redmist monument, a bill has been brought before the council to inact repairs to Aelrik's broken codpeace. It is expected to pass within the year.
Reporting to you,
Andrea Quickquill.
Redmist Gazette.