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Post by gossipgnome on Mar 7, 2015 4:34:14 GMT -5
*A newspaper hits the streets of Suzial! Several copies seem to be printed and are easily found if desired. The heading of the editorial states simply "The Gossip Gnome" and contains a good looking gnomish woman leaning over as if to whisper something. The paper is full of tabloid type articles of dubious content. Yet, there are those who find the content fun to read* "Hello everyone! It's me! The Gossip Gnome! I'm bringing you the scoop of the latest gossip and happenings of the everyone's favorite people of Cormyr! Be sure to check it out!"
"Have you guys met Raven yet? He's a bad-ass in boots and he’s here to give you the scoop!” “Hello! I’m Raven! I love my axe. I love my wife too! She’s missing though. I miss her.” Tee-hee. Just kidding everyone, he didn’t say that, but he *is* riding solo these days. I wonder what happened to his main-squeeze! Local gossip has it that Raven finally went off the deep end and started talking to his axe more than his wife and she left. I’m not so sure though, I think it has more to do with the pretty elf seen slapping his hind-quarters than his axe, and I’m pretty sure *she* is involved too! What do you guys think? XOXO
“Hey guys! Did you hear about the Ace of Blades? I guess she has a HUGE dwarf-fetish! Yeah, I know what you’re thinking everyone, “Gossip Gnome, she likes girls!!!” Nope! I happen to have it from very good sources that she was seen entering inn rooms with *many* different dwarves – sometimes several at a time! Way to spread the love, honey!! Maybe this will lighten up the dwarves a bit – gods know they need it. XOXOX
“Have any of you met a Northerner named Joric? I guess he’s got a “not-so-secret”axe-wielding admirer with a cold heart and violent disposition. She was last seen purring “his hair is so beautiful!” between deep, labored breaths, while holding a sagging tulip. Joric, sweetie! If you’re out here, open your eyes and find your fire-hating soul-mate! She desperately needs you to relight the embers of passion! What do you think readers, is he still out there? XOXO
Well, that’s it everybody! I hope you enjoyed the first edition of “The Gossip Gnome!”. If you would like to write in with an article of your own, or perhaps advertise within our publication, please leave word with our criers and news publication circulators! ((PMs accepted!)) I love you all! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
~The Gossip Gnome
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Fenix
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Sleepless Golem, aka Kenny
If you read this, send me a love note.
Posts: 2,183
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Post by Fenix on Mar 7, 2015 13:46:50 GMT -5
*A newspaper hits the streets of Suzial! Several copies seem to be printed and are easily found if desired. The heading of the editorial states simply "The Gossip Gnome" and contains a good looking gnomish woman leaning over as if to whisper something. The paper is full of tabloid type articles of dubious content. Yet, there are those who find the content fun to read* "Hello everyone! It's me! The Gossip Gnome! I'm bringing you the scoop of the latest gossip and happenings of the everyone's favorite people of Cormyr! Be sure to check it out!"
"Have you guys met Raven yet? He's a bad-ass in boots and he’s here to give you the scoop!” “Hello! I’m Raven! I love my axe. I love my wife too! She’s missing though. I miss her.” Tee-hee. Just kidding everyone, he didn’t say that, but he *is* riding solo these days. I wonder what happened to his main-squeeze! Local gossip has it that Raven finally went off the deep end and started talking to his axe more than his wife and she left. I’m not so sure though, I think it has more to do with the pretty elf seen slapping his hind-quarters than his axe, and I’m pretty sure *she* is involved too! What do you guys think? XOXO
“Hey guys! Did you hear about the Ace of Blades? I guess she has a HUGE dwarf-fetish! Yeah, I know what you’re thinking everyone, “Gossip Gnome, she likes girls!!!” Nope! I happen to have it from very good sources that she was seen entering inn rooms with *many* different dwarves – sometimes several at a time! Way to spread the love, honey!! Maybe this will lighten up the dwarves a bit – gods know they need it. XOXOX
“Have any of you met a Northerner named Joric? I guess he’s got a “not-so-secret”axe-wielding admirer with a cold heart and violent disposition. She was last seen purring “his hair is so beautiful!” between deep, labored breaths, while holding a sagging tulip. Joric, sweetie! If you’re out here, open your eyes and find your fire-hating soul-mate! She desperately needs you to relight the embers of passion! What do you think readers, is he still out there? XOXO
Well, that’s it everybody! I hope you enjoyed the first edition of “The Gossip Gnome!”. If you would like to write in with an article of your own, or perhaps advertise within our publication, please leave word with our criers and news publication circulators! ((PMs accepted!)) I love you all! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
~The Gossip GnomeFenix wanders by and browses over the publication with a giggle. Upon reading Joric's section, he promptly tears it out and tucks it away with a smile set in.
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Jarec
Proven Member
Kudsr please.
Posts: 152
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Post by Jarec on Mar 9, 2015 1:37:01 GMT -5
*A newspaper hits the streets of Suzial! Several copies seem to be printed and are easily found if desired. The heading of the editorial states simply "The Gossip Gnome" and contains a good looking gnomish woman leaning over as if to whisper something. The paper is full of tabloid type articles of dubious content. Yet, there are those who find the content fun to read* "Hello everyone! It's me! The Gossip Gnome! I'm bringing you the scoop of the latest gossip and happenings of the everyone's favorite people of Cormyr! Be sure to check it out!"
"Have you guys met Raven yet? He's a bad-ass in boots and he’s here to give you the scoop!” “Hello! I’m Raven! I love my axe. I love my wife too! She’s missing though. I miss her.” Tee-hee. Just kidding everyone, he didn’t say that, but he *is* riding solo these days. I wonder what happened to his main-squeeze! Local gossip has it that Raven finally went off the deep end and started talking to his axe more than his wife and she left. I’m not so sure though, I think it has more to do with the pretty elf seen slapping his hind-quarters than his axe, and I’m pretty sure *she* is involved too! What do you guys think? XOXO
“Hey guys! Did you hear about the Ace of Blades? I guess she has a HUGE dwarf-fetish! Yeah, I know what you’re thinking everyone, “Gossip Gnome, she likes girls!!!” Nope! I happen to have it from very good sources that she was seen entering inn rooms with *many* different dwarves – sometimes several at a time! Way to spread the love, honey!! Maybe this will lighten up the dwarves a bit – gods know they need it. XOXOX
“Have any of you met a Northerner named Joric? I guess he’s got a “not-so-secret”axe-wielding admirer with a cold heart and violent disposition. She was last seen purring “his hair is so beautiful!” between deep, labored breaths, while holding a sagging tulip. Joric, sweetie! If you’re out here, open your eyes and find your fire-hating soul-mate! She desperately needs you to relight the embers of passion! What do you think readers, is he still out there? XOXO
Well, that’s it everybody! I hope you enjoyed the first edition of “The Gossip Gnome!”. If you would like to write in with an article of your own, or perhaps advertise within our publication, please leave word with our criers and news publication circulators! ((PMs accepted!)) I love you all! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
~The Gossip GnomeWandering the streets of Suzail, Joric stumbles across one of the prints and after a short read... "What the qaat!?"
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Post by probablyamage on Mar 9, 2015 23:54:15 GMT -5
*Velethranril is seen laughing for five minutes straight in Suzail square once he comes across the Gossip-Gnome's quality newspaper. It ruins his attempts to be sneaky for a solid hour after that, due to the odd giggle.*
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Post by gossipgnome on May 2, 2015 2:25:13 GMT -5
The much anticipated 2nd edition of The Gossip Gnome hits the streets "Hello everybody! It's me! The Gossip Gnome! Did you miss me? Tee-hee!
I've got some new juicy gossip all you people can sink your teeth into. Lets start with that dwarf Gardrak. Ok, so the guy wanders around with huge "Dragon Ball" in his hands all the time, and occasionally "mmm's" and groans inexplicably. What in the nine hells is that all about? Well, it turns out truth is stranger than fiction folks...our deep cover journalists have discovered hes got...get this...a PANTS PIXIE! Oh yeah, I'm not making this up! The little fey lives in the dwarf's pants until he needs her and we can only assume what shes doing in there when idle. That'd explain all that seemingly random grunting I think. *Sigh* As long as shes happy I guess... What do you guys think? Something beautiful, or simple perversion? XOXOXOXLoooove is in the aiiiiiiirrrrrr! And BOY, does it prove Sune really has a sense of humor! Ok, so, you might know this guy named Amen, right? He's sort of a grump, and he complains a lot. Really, that more or less sums him up. I guess the fact he has a weird magic hat gives him a measure of charm, or at least something to laugh at. Nice guy I think, but you know, not the realm's greatest bachelor. Ok, so now we got this crazy warrior girl named Amy who totally thinks this guy is one steaming hot piece of meat. How the heck did that happen?!
Amen "Woe is me! The realms are terrible!" Amy "Yeah, but I'm awesome!" Amen "But things are sooooooooooooo bad! Id rather complain! Amy "Whatever. Lets go and kill things with our teeth" Amen " ..." Amy " ..." Amen "Please mother my children"
Yeah, I don't get it either. I wish them the best of luck though XOXOXOIf you thought the Amy/Amen coupling was a suprise, this one will really knock the boots off of you. Ok, so like...this shape-changer named Fenix and this warrior named Maric, they don't really like each other much. They started of yelling at each other in the middle of Greatgaunt, and they call each other harsh names. Fenix thinks Maric is a bum-bum hole, and Maric thinks Fenix's true form is a robust Sembian Steamer Log. But, as it turns out, this is just a childhood crush working itself out. Boys, do you remember when you used to tease the girl you liked real heavily? Well, that's whats going on here. Maric and Fenix sexual desire for each other has manifested into a bunch of macho posing and name calling. Ok, I know you're probably asking me right now "Gossip Gnome! How do you know this isn't genuine hatred? What proof do you have?" Weeeeeell, ladies and gentlemen, I don't want to share /all/ of my secrets, but lets just say it involved the two being in a certain inn suite, in a certain popular inn, in a certain adventuring town. A certain Gossip Gnome /did/ hear the words "Some D's are going in some A's, and its happening right here, in this room!" coming from these certain lips. You didn't hear that from me though! Tee-hee! XOXOXOXOXOX Well, thats tots all I got for today, folks. I hope you enjoyed yourself! Remember, you wish to advertise in the Gossip Gnome, or wish to have someone covered in one of our editions, please write us and let us know! Bye-sies! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
~The Gossip Gnome
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