A Leather Bound Journal

[midnightassassin]

This is the leather bound journal of Warrick "The Wanderer" Songblade. The journal is well made but worn with much use. The entries are numbered chronologically it would seem but there are no dates for the entries and it is written in a long flowing script, some entries in common, some in elven. It is kept forever hidden on his person as he never lets anyone see it nor does he ever write in it when others are around, preferring to keep even its existence secret.

[midnightassassin]

*flipping through the journal, a page has been dog eared, it is written in common and numbered "87"*


I promised myself so long ago that I would never swerve from my path. I swore to all the gods I could not be swayed from the course I had set. I swore that at any cost I would be the greatest swordsinger that had ever walked Toril. For so many years I traveled alone or with what adventurous company I could find...priests of dark gods, necromancers, unholy knights of darkness...anyone who sought power like I did. "Never be be weakened by friendship or love, never let your feelings sway you from your true course." That was what I used to tell myself...

But no longer...I tried as hard as I could not to love you, I thought perhaps you would leave of your own accord when you learned more of me. But it was not so. Your soft green eyes ever upon me, never judging the darkness within, only seeking to bring out the light. Your tiny frame in my arms, seemingly so frail, and yet the fire of passion to do your Lord's...our Lord's will radiating like the morning sun from your very being. And your voice... clear as the air at dawn, and as beautiful as the songs of the morning doves, and yet carrying the wisdom of The Morninglord like brilliant rays of the sun's first light. Perhaps of all the gods, Lathander heard the oath I swore so long ago and sent you to help guide me from inevitable destruction. I know not for sure. I only know that of all the women I have been with, none were able to break through the walls I placed about my heart. And yet you did, melting them away like ice beside fire. Back then I still had desires of fame and glory, desires of power, desires to make my dragon blood strong like my great great grand sire. But how could I let you be harmed by the path I had chosen? How could I let something so beautiful and so radiant as you be destroyed by the red dragon growing inside me? I couldn't allow that to happen, there was...and still is, a least some bit of humanity left in me. So I tried to push you away. I told you everything...and yet somehow...you only wished to help me...you only wished to steer me away from a never ending darkness of meaninglessness. Alas...I could not hear your words that night. But it did not take long to see that I had destroyed what was most precious to me. And that in losing you, life had lost meaning. There is perhaps no greater despair then knowing you have broken the heart of the only woman you have ever loved and your own as well in the process.

There was no other choice for me in that darkness. How could I continue on with my quest that was now meaningless and empty? My blood may be tainted with the evil of a Red, but I will do what I can to make amends for the wrongs I have done. You have taken me back...a sign of The Morninglord's grace, and for that I will forever be grateful.

*There is a large ink mark on the last period as if he was thinking and intending to write more*

[midnightassassin]

What is happening to me? How can this be happening? My heart, it feels as if it has split in two. So much pain that I can't endure it any longer. Warrick, you fool, how can you love two women? How can you do this to them? How can I treat Ehver like this, leading her on, to where? Its breaking me apart. And Korista, how can I even think of leaving you? How can I do this to you?

*he sighs long and hard putting down his pen and reaching for something out of a pack, pulling it out. A vial of red liquid, the blood of a red dragon carefully collect not many days before. He turns it in his hand slowly, his eyes tracing over it knowing full well what it would mean to pursue the path Liadan had turned him from.*

Tymora has forsaken me. Why has she allowed fate to put me here with my heart split in two? I need more strength to fight, to take on those who sow evil. I need more power. Isinhold needs it. Ehver needs it. *sighs* Ehver...your name is like a dream to me...some place far away from everything...calling me softly...I meant what I said...I am not toying with your heart...if only...Gods...why have you forsaken me? What am I to do?

[midnightassassin]

Gods what have I done? I left Korista and she told me she loved me for the first time...I left her for Ehver and now that has fallen apart on me. Its just too hard to be with Ehver, all the trouble, the whole world seems against us...Korista falling to pieces and Edward trying to snag her up, Ehver's friendships, Clarke doesn't even like me apparently. So Ehver and I have decided to part ways, and the pain is nagging deeply in my heart. Perhaps she can at least have peace if I am not driving a wedge between her and her friends.

*he sets the quill down reaching for a familiar red vial turning it in his hand watching the thick red liquid coat the inside and slowly drain from the sides*

I am just not sure what to do...should I return to this path? Finish this freakish experiment I have started? I think I will need all the strength I can muster in the days ahead, and I have controlled the dragon for so long perhaps I can manage to keep control if I let him gain strength...I don't know...I still have time to decide.

[midnightassassin]

*He stumbled through Isinhold. His mind a blur. His heart broken open again. Someone said something to him and his mind asked "What are they saying? I can't make it out." He stumbled on meandering aimlessly. He found himself staring into the Bramble his mind racing with incoherent thoughts. "She was serious this time...She has made her choice and it is not me. Not me!? How can this be? The villa...the children...old and gray." His heart shattering into a million pieces...his mind unable to pull himself together. He just stood there long and staring. "Did Mouse and Rigrin walk by? What did they say? What did I say?"*

*Something jolted him, grabbing him, he fought back but it overpowered him slamming against the brick pillar. His gaze of hatred settled on her face as she cursed angrily back at him. Luna stood there pinning him against the rock. Yelling... screaming... and he screamed back. Once his sister who he dreamed of helping out of the darkness, now just some face he hated with all his splintered heart. She wouldn't let up. He struggled again, but to no avail...his muscles wouldn't respond how he wanted them too. "What was she saying?" Words flew from his lips he did not even know how they got there. "What do you want?", she sad soft and quietly startling him. His body going limp in her arms. The words poured from his mouth softly, "Ehver...I want Ehver." He struggled again thrashing and throwing his elbow in her face, she rammed her head into his in turn and shoved him out into the Brambles, driving him back against the cliff face and drawing her blade pressing it to his neck. He grinned maniacally at her. "Do it Luna!" He pressed and prodded trying to get her to end it, but Edward and Alex were there. Coaxing her to leave Warrick be. "Be their dog on a leash," Warrick goaded, but in the end only the slit of blood where the blood pressed against his skin was left as a mark. She wouldn't do it...He let out a cackling laugh as they told him he should have to suffer for what he did to Korista. And they were right! By gods they were right! All the gods fury should be on him for what he did to poor Korista, breaking her heart to pieces. And now...and now it comes full circle. Ehver has chosen, and his heart is shattered...just like Korista's. Luna sheathed her blade and he knew this little talk was over. He brushed past them as they hurled their foul words at him...but he couldn't hear them. It was like Ehver's dwarven, a jumble of words he could not comprehend at the moment. He stumbled off back into Isinhold dazedand in stooper, his heart and mind cracked and broken.*

[midnightassassin]

*Warrick wandered for a bit through Isinhold lost in grief and pain. Somehow he ended up facing into the Bramblewood again. Something calling him there though he didn't even know he was going there. He wandered into the woods heading north seemingly aimlessly. There he stumbled upon an empty bottle of mead. He picked it up looking it over think little of it as he wandered north. "So cruel a fate is this," he thought. "Discarded like this bottle, like he had done to Korista, just like he had been by Ehver in turn." North he went, and he found another bottle and another. His heart began to sink even further his mind all the sudden thinking of Korista. When he came to the Purple Dragon Outpost he asked the guard, "Have you seen a drunken lass with fiery red hair pass this way?" The guard in turn replied that he had and she was mumbling something about a dragon. He said he tried to stop her but she was too drunk. Panic fell over Warrick as he raced north wards. His mind screaming, "Please don't let her be dead!" His pace fast and furious as he went north wards following the trail of bottles..."how many could she have drunk?" And then he came upon them...Alex, Edward, Luna..."what were they doing here? Oh gods they are following the trail too!" Rage and hatred overwhelmed him as he stood staring at them. "They can't be allowed to touch her." "No, no, no." His mind screamed. His reason had left him and the only thing he could think was that they must die...the whole lot of them.*

*He rushed in flinging a hold spell on Alex...it failed...Luna...she was held fast. "One down," his mind raced. He charged as Edward vanished into thin air. "Not good!" He rushed into Alex with a fury strokes, cursing his name. He caught Alex off guard...he had needed to, else the cunning man would likely have taken Warrick down. He swung his blade with all the fury he could possibly muster, finally overwhelming Alex, his blade piercing through him dealing a lethal blow. As he did, he cried out in agony as Edward struck him from behind, appearing from nowhere, and knocking Warrick to his knees. Edward's blade came down on Warrick again and again, crushing down on him with every stroke. He grimaced in agonizing pain trying to get to his feet, but it was too late...too many of Edward's sword strokes had fell on him, and with one final blow, Warrick's blade and shield dropped from his hand. Time stood still as a flash of memories burned through his mind. Korista...I am so sorry I have failed you. Teneas...my old friend I should have listened to you. "Ehver..." His dying words gurgling as the blood poured from his mouth. He toppled forward into the grass, his eyes slowly closing as blackness took him, deep dark blackness.*

[midnightassassin]

*Darkness took him, unending and impenetrable darkness. He tried to open his eyes, but there was nothing as he began to fall, fall into that inescapable darkness, there was nothing else. No memories, no thoughts, only blackness...save one.*

*A face that he could not see. There were soft features...elven...but they were only images in his mind, without shape or form. Eyes...mismatched and full of life. And soft dark hair...the bangs veiling her eyes. All of this he knew the face to be but he could not see it.*

*Who was she? This thing of beauty, the only thought of his in the blackness besides himself. Where was she? Still falling endlessly. He could almost see her now in front of his eyes. Her face taking shape, the face that he loved..."Ehver!" something inside him screamed. He reached out a hand to caress her cheek as he continued to fall. "Ehver...come back to me."*

[midnightassassin]

"Forever"

So young, so beautiful,
Dark hair flowing in the wind.

So soft, so frail,
Sweet laughter echoing again.

Slender fingers, on slender strings,
In my own I will take them in.

Such eyes, mismatched eyes,
Full of life as I look within.

That violin, sweet violin,
That softens hearts all day.

Into those eyes, I did fall,
As everything seemed to melt away.

Twas two, and only two,
That were left standing as one.

Twas two, then only one,
The weaving of hearts never to be undone.

Your touch, your face,
This heart will crave forever.

In life, in death,
The love of this heart will be for Ehver.

[midnightassassin]

Curled in his lap softly, she fit perfectly in his arms. He closed his eyes smelling the fruity scent of her hair, feeling her little elven frame in his arms. Her soft voice purring to him like some sweet melody. "Gods I love this woman," he thought to himself. His fingers absently moving to his pocket fiddling with something inside. He loved her sweetness, she was always so kind with him, unless of course they spoke about -him-. The Lorkh, the outcast whom she had befriended. And then the thoughts began to wear on him again. Yes she was kind to Warrick, she loved him, she was kind to her friends, kind to Elve, an elven elf killer, who was painfully annoying. He was rude, cruel, arrogant, and utterly hated Warrick, but Ehver didn't care about that, didn't care that Elve wasted his time in a small village trying to make himself feel better by demeaning others. No she had found some bound with him. A mutual hate of elves that somehow wronged them? Something that went far beyond the typical elven arrogance and dis-trustfulness. He couldn't tell exactly. After all the times she told him she loved him, she still shut him out of her deepest feelings, and that hurt him deeply. He wondered if he was just some toy to her. Something comforting to hold on to. A childhood teddy bear that she would grow tired of someday.

But she was not kind to those who were not her friends. She hated all his...poor Rastan, who had loved hearing her play the violin for just a moment, she would scowl at him and be rude to his face as I spoke with him one day. And just today Rastan tells me to send his best wishes to Ehver, that he hopes we are happy together. She scowls and mutters under her breath thinking he is against her when he only wishes her happiness with me.*

No, it is not Elve that disturbs Warrick, in fact a great sense of pity has begun to grow in him for Elve. He has thought of offering a hand to Elve. To help him if he can, if Elve wished it. Perhaps it would make things worse, but maybe the kindness of one so hated could break through to him. No, its not Elve that weighs heavily on Warrick's heart, but Ehver and her words about Elve. "I don't care if he murdered your friends Warrick, I would stand beside him and defend him." That was it. Warrick had allowed and ignored so much for weeks to be with Ehver. She was witty, she was sweet (to him at least), her love of music, of the road, of fun, Gods he loved all these things about her, and she was beautiful, oh so beautiful. But that was it, he could not be with her if she would not do the right thing, at least try to do so. He could not be with her if she treated folk like dirt to preserve a single friendship. He could not be with on so uncaring of anything outside her immediate friendships. He could not be with someone so selfish.

His fingers curled tightly around the object in his pocket. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to so badly, but there were some things he could not do. His heart ached so badly, he wanted to slip the ring in his pocket on her finger and make her his forever, but he could not. Not unless she changed.

[midnightassassin]

Gods it is so painful to push you Ehver, to try and get you to reveal anything about yourself. I don't like doing it, I despise it really, but what other way is there? You won't reveal it any other way. In fact I don't even know if what you do reveal is even the truth...how much of what you have told me is lies? How much is nothing but a cover for your deeper feelings? Can I really be sure that what you told me tonight is even true? How can you possibly expect me to marry you when you can't even tell me the truth about yourself?

*an ink blot forms as he rests his quill on the paper*

Your loss was terrible, there is no denying that, but to blame them all? Hate them all? I suppose I did once too, but I eventually found good friends like Teneas to open my eyes. And what if your wish comes true Ehver? What if they all just disappeared? Would it hurt any less? Would the pain be any smaller? It will go on and on and you will try to hide, try to cover it up but it will always be there making you miserable.

But what am I to you? The security blanket...soft comforting arms...just some place to feel safe and to forget all that pain and hate? Or perhaps this is all a game and I am a fool for playing along. I just don't know for sure with all the lies. You do love me in some way, of that I am sure. It is a strange love that I don't understand exactly. You love me and only me, and the things I hold dear don't really matter to you except for the fact that if you didn't pretend to care about them, you might lose me. What is this game you play with me Ehver? Or are you so lost and confused you really don't even know what is going on? I have no choice but to try and find out the truth....

[midnightassassin]

*The fire crackled here and there as he sat in that quiet and peaceful room next to the dying flames. His elbows propped on his knees as he leaned forward looking hard at the tiny little piece of gold he had in his fingers. It spun end over end as his fingers moved it round and round. *

*His eyes glanced over to the bed, a warm and loving smile curling on his lips even as a warmth passed over his heart. The slender figure resting there had been tucked lovingly under the blankets. He could just barely see the beautiful elven features of her face, her hair laying carelessly over her graceful ears, the soft outline of her eloquent and defined cheek bone covered by the softest of skin. She was extremely beautiful, and all the more so because she of the carefree way she held herself.*

*She loved him. She had proved that to him beyond any doubt earlier that day when he needed her most. When he had spoken to Lunatari and listened to the tale of his killing. When he heard the one he had called a sister tell him it was her who had killed him, beheaded him, and dumped him in the swamps to rot away forever. He hadn't told Ehver exactly what Luna had told him, he didn't know if he could. Luna was his sister...how could he let anyone know what she did? ...even Ehver.*

*But Ehver had shown that kindness, that sorrow and tenderness for Warrick's pain. She knew something was deeply wrong and wanted nothing more than to take it away from him. She wanted nothing more than to make him feel better. She loved him deeply, and in that moment he saw it in her like never before.*

*She had stolen his heart yet again and he fell helplessly deeper in love with her. He knew she spouted lies. He didn't even know who the hell she was. He wanted to know desperately because ever there was a nagging doubt weighing heavily on his mind. "Who am I in love with? Is this even you? Is this all a lie?" He couldn't answer those questions, only she could and there was no way to tell if her answers would even be the truth.*

*He twirled the ring in his fingers again and again, its gleam from the firelight moving across the walls. His heart yearned to place it on her finger and take her away forever to live happily ever after. Still, the doubt held him back...if he was wrong and it was a lie, he would not be able to bare it, and he feared that with his heart broken, the dark dragon inside him would burst forth and take control and all the rage and the blood lust would be let loose on the world*

[midnightassassin]

He looked quietly up at the fading night sky. The predawn, a dark blue dotted with faint stars, lightened ever so slowly as the minutes crept by. Hi slips were curled into a smile as he gazed up, his arms folded in front of himself as he leaned up against the inn. He had slept more peacefully than he had in a long time with his arms wrapped tightly around the woman he loved so dearly. The woman he would spend the rest of his life with.

He felt as if such a weight had been lifted from his from him. He had wanted to ask her for so long and yet he had held back. Everyday he had wondered if it would be the day. Finally...he had asked her and she all she could do was scream "yes, Gods yes!" and fling her arms around him. He knew his friends would not understand, especially his elven friends, but that didn't much matter to him. After being told to leave their home when he and Aria had ventured their for a surprise visit looking for his old friend, Teneas, Warrick once again felt the isolationism and distrustful the elves were so capable of displaying. But he didn't want to think of that. He only wanted to think of the beautiful elven lady, the one that was not like them, the one that would be with him for however many centuries his dragon blooded body would live.

His smile widened even more as images of her soft elven features flooded his mind and of the golden ring hi shad slipped on her finger, the one that would remain there for hundreds of years to come.

The dawn was not far off, and he did wish to stay and see the sun rise, but there was something else he wished to see more. There was his wife to be resting upstairs in the inn room. It had only been a few minutes since he had slipped out to look at the stars, but even a few minutes away from her and he missed her touch and the sound of her soft breath. He wanted to be with her for a few hours more. He pushed off the wall and turned on his heel passing swiftly into the inn. His smile widened even more as he thought and whispered aloud her new name, "Ehver Songblade. It even sounds perfect."

[midnightassassin]

The rain was pouring down with a vengeance. Puddles were forming quickly and the rain roared loudly on the water's surface making it shimmer and quake with the multitude of drops striking hard. Warrick looked out from under the hood of his cloak as the water ran off his cloak in heavy streams. He saw the summer flowers of the gardens being beat down in sheets of rain, the underbrush sagging under the weight of the water, everything was gray and dim and blurry from the dark thunderous rain clouds that let loose deep shuddering booms every so often.

He was soaked to the bone even though he had had his hood and cloak pulled tightly to him to keep the rain out. He had given up on keeping the rain out half and hour earlier. Still he sat quietly on a bench in the gardens in Suzail, trying to clear his mind. He hadn't seen much of his beautiful fiance in the last few days, the only elf he would ever love, and he missed her deeply. He had seen her for a brief moment in Isinhold and one in Suzail...and each time she recoiled from his touch. She said she was upset from a fight with Lorkus and Elve. Maybe she was telling the truth, maybe not, but it hurt him deeply to see her pull away from him. If she had been so hurt by them wouldn't she want his touch? It made no sense to him. It bothered him, troubled his mind and as he looked out into the depressingly heavy rain...that is how he felt...like he was being pummeled from above by those thunderous rain clouds. He lowered his head closing his eyes and just listened to the heavy rainfall hiss on the ground. Was she hiding something? or were her words true and she was just afraid and troubled? It bothered him even more that he did not know for certain and that he would even question that his fiance would be lying to him.