Abigail...... A life long lived ....

[Pithirendar]

Abigail felt weightless as gravity pulled her back to the earth with a thud. A soft giggle escaped her lips. For those that knew her, the sound would have been alien. The lips of the soul taker, the smooth talker wrought with lies and half truths, had never been so care free.

Her time in solitude had done her the world of good. Away from temptation, the heavy burdens she carried, were gone. Loneliness gripped her hard these last months and she longed for company. Just someone to talk to other than herself. As she looked up at the clouds she decided to go west. Never really good with direction, she set off east until she reached the next settlement.

The streets of Greatgaunt were busy. At first she found it confronting, it had been over a year since she had seen so many people in one place. A nervous smile to a woman cloaked in black did not make her feel any more at ease. The thought of a warm bed lured her and she made her way towards the nearest inn.

A gathering of people by a table and the breath she was nervously holding was ripped from her lungs. Abigail stopped dead in her tracks as she stared at the elf. Her mouth agape there was no mistaking him. She knew him better than she knew herself. Of all the places .... how could she end up here. The very place she never wanted to come. Silver hair caught her eye then and Abigail groaned. Typical. Who else was here? Abigail looked for red wings and breathed a sigh of relief.

The elf and his companions walked away and Abigail was left alone on the dark street. She rushed inside as quickly as she could. Memories came rushing back as her senses were flooded. Men and woman speaking jovially. The smell of ale and pies baking. Practically snatching the key from the inn keep Abigail raced up stairs. A small knife placed under her pillow. She hoped he did not come to kill her through the night.

[Pithirendar]

She took out her journal and began to write. The fresh pages reminded her of the new life she had begun. The old journal was but a memory now, just the like pain of the past....

It's funny how one can lose them self into the depths of their own pain. Nothing subsides everything churns waiting to explode. Guilt overrides your spirit and you become void. Chanting the words of desire and filling your lungs with passion only to lose your soul. It slowly fades away and your heart can bleed no more. All life is lost. An emotionless being stuck in the depths of your own self pity. Screaming. You want to be let out, free, but you keep yourself locked away. Deep within the dark depths of your being, you're smothered. Not even the brightest light can shine through. So you sit, waiting, longing for the light to a world that has become a dream. It's touch still lingers, haunting your consciousness, you'll find happiness there but it remains forever elusive.

[Pithirendar]

I should have known better.
Lies. All of it lies.
No one man is better than the other. They'll use you all the same. They'll take what they need from you, chew you up and spit you out.
How can one ever live up to an impossible dream?
No one person is perfect but despite flaws when you choose to love someone, you do.
I love him. No. I loved him.
Gone in an instant.
Ironic he should take me to the grove where my possible future would lie. An ending wrapped in a beginning is an ending all the same.

What next?

I'll not be her again, and yet, I am no better.
The Shadows of the past haunt my dreams and darken the path ahead.

Love. What a pathetic hollow word.

[Pithirendar]

Watching him as we sat by the river is the greatest torture I have ever known.
And yet, I could not look away.
I could not get enough.
I love him still.
No matter how hard I try to swallow the feelings away, they creep up into the back of my throat and envelope me.
It's like a knife slowly twisting into an open wound.
I willingly bleed for him.

[Pithirendar]

Relief washed over her and she sobbed into his chest.
He was here again.
Like a beacon in the darkest night.
All she had to do was find her way back to him.

[Pithirendar]

Happiness is momentary.
A momentary lapse of reality.

I'm addicted to the chase.
Reality is fine for the moment.

I think I did it again. Damn.

[Pithirendar]

Lately I find that you know me
better than I know myself,
like a woman who's lost herself
by the water's edge,
her reflection was taken by the tide,

I just want you around,
I want you around,

Seconds and hours pass slowly
I move them all by myself,
I can feel that I'm aging,
my hair is turning black,
there's a rhythm behind it
that you can't know,

Still, I want you around,
'cause I'm more lost than found,

Shine a light on my misery,
wake the child from her sleep,
wipe the eyes of the dewy morning,
the waters so deep.

Sarah Blasko

[Pithirendar]

Some time in the past...........

The eagle sat on its perch, preening itself. The cage had been placed by the fire and it lapped up the rare warmth. She spread her wings and longed for flight.
Suddenly the eagle turned its head to spy the black one, if it stayed perfectly still perhaps the black one wouldn't see it. The eagle watched the black one draw closer, her keen eye watching for any sudden movement, the eagle remained motionless.

The cage was flung from its shelf across the cave with extraordinary force. The eagle slammed against the bars, it screeched and flapped its wings. If it pretended to be dead then the black one would leave it alone, the eagle remained motionless.

Still, the black one came. It's malevolent eye peering in, he placed some meat at the eagle's feet. Xanthrax calmly beckoned the eagle to eat it. “It's human pet, your favourite.” His draconic lips twisting into a sadistic grin. The eagle jerked awake, the meat all too enticing. It could not remember the last time it had seen fresh meat. She devoured it before he could take it away and flapped her wings contentedly. The tiny cage door opened, a talon awaited her. The eagle hopped to the door and perched itself on the cage edge. She tilted her head to the side as she scanned the cave. Deeming it safe she hopped onto the talon, the dragon lifted her with unusual care.

The eagle regarded the dragon and gave a tiny screech. “You wish to speak pet? Such a pity. You did this to yourself you know, if you were a good pet, and obeyed, you would still have your voice. Oh! How you must despise me!” Xanthrax bellowed with great pleasure.

“Come, it is time to see if you have learned your lesson.”

Xanthrax set the eagle on a large shelf high on the cave wall. His talon reached out and pierced the wing of the eagle, drawing blood. The eagle screeched but before it could take flight Xanthrax uttered the words which would make her whole again.

Abigail groaned, she was naked, blood dripping from her arm. She tilted her head to the side as she spied the ancient dragon watching her. She moved to spread her wings and take flight, but they were no longer there. She looked at her arms, not recognising them for a moment. Abigail shuddered and wailed.
Xanthrax laughed, taunting her he snarled “You will find no escape here, Pet.”.