Byrnolf Shadowheart - Servant of Kelemvor

[termite73]

Life before Cormyr:

I am known as Byrnolf Shadowheart – servant of Kelemvor. I am a holy warrior not a writer, yet I feel the need to record my thoughts here as much to help me clarify my own thoughts as to help retell the story to others who may care to listen.
I was born and raised in Waterdeep the son of a sheather. I was never considered any one special and went through life like any other. I spent my days learning my craft by day, which I was never very good at, and visiting the local tavern by night. Fortune shined on me when I met a fair lady by the name of Celia. She was a beautiful woman both inside and out who served as a Priestess at the temple of Oghma. It was a fateful moment… it was love at first sight. We were together for some time, and eventually were engaged to be married. Life was perfect and wonderful as any could hope it to be. We had our whole lives together in front of us…until tragedy struck.
One month before we were to be wed, Celia was on a simple church errand running some messages to a small town just outside of Waterdeep. She never returned – she was killed by a marauding band of orcs. When news of her death reached me I was totally stunned. My whole life I had planned together with her was suddenly gone… my whole world was gone! I would not eat, I could not sleep. I took on the perpetual black garb of a mourner. My countenance, my outlook, my world turned dark. My physical health began to fail as my mental health became so unstable. I even contemplated taking my own life. For if we could not be together in life than we should be together in death.
That is when my mother, concerned for me, brought me to the Priests of Kelemvor. They spoke to me at great length as I visited with them day after day after day… I stopped working at my father’s shop and spent nearly every day and night either with the priests or simply by myself in the cemetery. Eventually I did recover a bit and was able to carry on life as normal. Well, almost normal. There would always be the looming shadow over my heart of Celia’s loss. I still wondered what could be done. How could I change what had been done? I would serve Kelemvor. If I became a dutiful servant of the God of Death, then perhaps… who knows…? I understand now that this was not rational thinking, but none the less, it is what drove me to Kelemvor’s service.
And so I started my training there in Waterdeep – in the City of the Dead with the Priests of Kelemvor. With nothing else to live for, I threw myself wholly into my studies and became my tutor’s strongest student. I had almost tunnel vision for my studies, obsessing about the rift between life and death, the looming inevitability that death comes to us all. Almost all... There are some that do not die. Not completely anyhow. The Undead. Though their body is dead they live on! I became fascinated with them, studying, learning, and eventually hunting them. Possessing such complete dedication to my cause it was an obvious step to take on my role as a Paladin in Kelemvor’s service.
So began my life as a Paladin, servant of Kelemvor. I again had purpose in my life, but still with a looming shadow over my heart.

[termite73]

After a number of years serving in the City of the Dead, the cemetery quarter of Waterdeep, I was approached by my mentor in the church. He had received word about some particular events happening in Cormyr, and immediately thought of me. My particular skills and training were perfectly suited for the task. There were reports of an unusual amount of undead activity in Cormyr. I was to travel to Cormyr and seek out the source of this undead menace and put a stop to it. Still burdened by the weighty memory of Celia’s death I was ever looking for more work to do in the church… to keep my mind occupied. Hence, I heartily agreed to set out on this church mission.
I rode a small ship and arrived in the small Cormyrian town of Isinhold. A tiny village really, compared to the towering spires and sprawling markets of Waterdeep. I knew no one here, had no place to stay, only the meager supplies I carried with me as I got off that boat. None the less I was happy to be here. I was a long way from home and all of the memories associated there and I had plenty of work ahead of me. I quickly set to getting my bearings and seeking out the undead. It did not take me long. Seems everyone in town knew of the haunted crypt right there within the very village.
I made multiple forays into the catacombs below Isinhold. As my skills improved I was confident enough to journey deeper, further, and longer. I was quite content in my work… as there was plenty of it. I began to know a few people and had become familiar with the land. Corwin, my old friend from back home even arrived in town. Quite the surprise, but then again as a Windwalker I might have expected him to be out traveling far from home. It was good to see him, and he even stayed on in town for quite a while. He ended up making a few friends and signing on with the Silver Shields. I had considered signing on as well, but it just didn’t feel right. I had so many things in my head that were still so unsettled I just could not bring my self to such a relationship at this point. Corwin stayed around for a few months, but ultimately moved on again leaving me again alone with just a few acquaintances, and my work.
So on I continued with my church’s mission alone. With so many unsure things in my life the only thing I could be sure about was that I had work to do. I became a driven man marching endlessly on in my hunt. I spend night after night hunting the undead, in the crypts below Isinhold, a long forgotten crypt west of Redmist, a cemetery north of Redmist, and so on… It seemed I spent more time below ground and among the dead than I did among the living. Which was quite fitting really, my heart had left me dark, hollow, and alone I might as well be spending my time in dark, hollow and lonely places. The moon became my closest friend, for as I worked at night hunting the undead it shined down on me. Alone in a vast sky trying its best to shine on against clouds and darkness, it’s pale, quiet vigil a symbol of my own existence. Until an unforeseen event happened. I was hunting alone in the forgotten crypt when in my darkness the sun broke through bringing light into my world…

[termite73]

Her name was Lady Stillu, and she was a remarkable woman. We ran into each other in the depths of the very same crypt where I was patrolling. Now we had met before in Isinhold by the fire once or twice, but I suppose I never really noticed her. My head to clouded in my own thoughts and gloom perhaps. None the less, she was a beautiful young lady with flowing blonde hair and a graceful manner. Her outer beauty was rivaled only by her inner beauty… kind, generous, and caring to a fault. As a Priestess of Lathander she had chosen to hunt the undead as they were an abomination to her creed. Being that we shared this mutual foe, we began to make a habit of traveling together. The more we did so, the more in love I became with her. Feelings I had forgotten I was even capable of suddenly came swelling up inside me. My world was bright again. For the first time in since I could remember I actually stopped to notice the sunrise, and its serene beauty. I even took to playing the lute again. In my free time here and there I worked on composing a song for her, to tell her of my love for her. I also worked out a deal with the farmer just outside of Redmist. It seems he had some trouble with some enchanted scarecrows in his crops. I promised him I would help take care of the scarecrows if he would help me grow some flowers for her, sunflowers of course. I thought them the perfect choice.
There was a slight problem though; her church had apparently set her up with a protector who did not take kindly to my feelings toward Stillu. Granted my intentions were pure, but this protector, Tres, felt that I would be a distraction for her from her churchly duties. So quietly I loved her from afar. We still traveled together, but I did not speak of my feelings. I was simply content to be around here, even if she never knew how I truly felt. But my love grew too strong. I had lived for so long without light, without love. Lady Stillu brought both of these into my life. I decided that I would not give up so easily. I traveled with Bora and several other friends to see the ruins of Arabel. Stillu had told me before that her father was there helping the victims of the city recover. As I understood it, her father also a priest of Lathander, was the one who had set her up with this protector. My plan was to speak with him, and tell him of my feelings toward her and my intention to court her. With his permission, I would be able to finally tell her how I felt. Tragically, when we arrived in Arabel there was no one… not a soul.
Quietly and sadly I returned to Redmist. Unsure of where to turn next, I could not find her father, and neither could I find Tres to attempt to speak to her again. Alas, Bora, a good friend of both Stillu and myself sensed how I was feeling. The two of us talked through the night about the whole situation. She advised and I agreed that I needed to talk to Lady Stillu and tell her of everything I had been feeling and doing. So I searched for her, but it seemed that I was too late. She had already been sent off by her church on some mission.
The irony was crippling. My heart could not take it. For so long had I mad a stone of my heart for the loss I had felt when Celia had dies just a month before we were to be wed… because she was sent away on a church errand never to return. Now, as I planned to profess my love for Lady Stillu, she was gone. Sent away on a church errand never to return.
Darkness again settled into my world. She the sun, daughter of Lathander, and I the moon who walks in the dark. Two souls destined to share the same sky, yet never to meet.

[termite73]

Darkness had again fallen on my world, and as I have done in the past, I burried myself in my work to keep my mind off things. There was much to do in Cormyr... undead abounding, and villianous persons to be on the watch for. I was busy... but not at peace with so many memories. Stillu was gone from my life, the ghost of Celia still haunted my memories as well.
While all of this was happening inside of me, there were numerous things happening around me as well. Though I tried to be aware of everything that was happening, I had difficulty focusing on such things. One meaningful conversation I did have was with Jann and Donavan. They had been telling me of how they split from the Shields and formed their new order - the Knights of Honor. This concept intrigued me. Their cause seemed true, thier hearts in the right place, and above all they had created a brotherhood who where bound to each other... a sence of belonging that I longed for. True I had direction in my life, I always had Kelemvor and my work for the church. But Jann and Donavan talked of peace. Not just the absence of war, but inner peace... something I had not felt in a very long time. I had a desire to join with them, but I could not. something was fundementally opposeing me. I had no inner peace of my own. How could I try to promote peace in others if I had none of my own?
Then one night it happened. My life to yet another unexpected turn. I was talking with Braiden, one of the Knights of Honor. He seemed to see beyond my facade I had built up for 18 years... he looked at me and said "The sun and moon, two bodies destined to share the same sky but never to meet." His words struck right into me deeper than any blade or claw had ever managed to. He was just offering a kind word, remembering what I had told him before of my loss, but instead he had cut to the core of my heart. We spoke at some length about loss, love, and inner peace. I am not ashamed to say, but I was a grown man openly weeping for all that I had tried to supress for so long. all of the looming ghosts in my heart felt memories were coming out. My blood ran hot with the surge of emotions, my tears flowed, but my chest for the first time was being unburdened. Barely able to compose myself I asked braiden if he would excuse me for a moment... but I would return. I walked away from the campfire and up the hill to the small burrial ground in Isinhold... a place I often prayed. There under the moonlight I prayed like I never have before. I heard Kelemvor's voice... and he showed me her face. She was with him but tormented as well. She would never finish her journey in the other world as long as I held so tightly to her. She told me to let go. Not to forget, but to release what I had grasped at since her death... that I may be at peace, and she as well.
When I first heard of Celia's death I was angry with rage and denial. but I never openly wept for her.. I could never come to accept the reality of her death. This night... under my symbolic moonlight, in the cemetery, urged on by the words of an almost complete stranger, I finally did. I let her go.
I slid on hand into a pocket deep under my tunic. There where I had kept it for eighteen long years was her ring. The ring I gave her when we were to be married, diamonds glittering a cool blue in the moonlight. I knew what I had to do. One more symbolic gesture to close this long chapter of my life.
I walked back down to the campfire after I finally composed myself. Addressing Braiden I thanked him for speaking with me that night and freeing me of my burden. As a show of thanks I wanted to present him with a token of appreciation. I handed him Celia's ring... I didn't need it any more.
A bit surprised yet thankfull, braiden accepted the ring. He then told me of how he had plans to propose to his lady love. That he would use this ring when he asked her. He said it was a fitting tribute to my love for Celia, that it might be an inspiration to him and his love for his lady. Everything had come full circle... everything was complete... in balance... and at peace.