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Post by Spirit of a Phoenix on Jan 25, 2023 11:58:48 GMT -5
We'll be here when you're ready, take all the time you need you need. Hoping for the best for you and your family. Hang in there.
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Post by DM Grizwald on Jan 25, 2023 12:32:16 GMT -5
Hey SCJ,
I know what you're going through. Same sort of thing happened last year with our family. Take all the time you need, you'll always be a part of this community.
Griz
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Post by Animayhem on Jan 26, 2023 21:54:10 GMT -5
Hey all! I'm going to have to step away for about a week or so from FRC. Not leaving! I'll be making a post here and there, but I need to step back and assess a lot of things in life right now. My dad had a minor stroke. He's lost enough mobility in his hand and foot that he can no longer drive. Something that's highly frustrating for him. My mom doesn't feel safe driving on the freeways anymore, so both I and my spouse are taking turns getting my dad to doctor's appointments. We're having to adjust some things to help them out. Which does mean less free time overall. Having to consider things for both the immediate future and the longer term is taking a lot of emotional power and brain power right now. We might have to move in with them or try and find a place much closer. A LOT to consider. I'm going to just relax and play some Forspoken (having fun with it so far and it doesn't take much brain power to play it) and get RL into some kind of new order. For now: Wrenna - quietly surviving/hibernating in the Bramblewood like any good wildling would at this time of year Mynian - resting up after a particularly grueling time for Valkur's Roar, getting her place in order, and just seeing to any backlogged parchmentwork that needs tending to IF you really really need to have a chat with Mynian, let me know in a PM and we can schedule something. Thanks all and Game On! P.S. Still going to yap at y'all on Discord so blah blah at you there You are doing the right thing, Yourself and family first. Positive healing vibes. If you need to talk you can ping me on discord.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Jan 27, 2023 3:22:13 GMT -5
To top all this off I tested positive for Covid Thursday morning. This month sucks
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Post by sightblinder on Jan 27, 2023 9:18:27 GMT -5
Oh man! Sorry you are having to go through all this SCJ. My fingers are crossed for you and your father's speedy recovery.
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Post by Animayhem on Jan 27, 2023 15:25:45 GMT -5
To top all this off I tested positive for Covid Thursday morning. This month sucks Take a deep breath. Focus on you for now. Positive healing vibes.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Feb 5, 2023 14:43:02 GMT -5
I'm "in the clear" so to say. Still feel a bit of the fatigue and I get light headed, but my lungs are clear and I don't have the coughing fits anymore.
Still on the mend, but I'll work my way back onto playing again a little at a time.
Game on!
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Feb 26, 2023 12:39:02 GMT -5
The parental units need my help today so I won't be on for the majority of the day.
Wrenna is hibernating and Mynian is sheltering, relying on others to Get Things Done, and working on clothing designs.
Have fun and Game On!
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Apr 1, 2023 0:28:38 GMT -5
Dad is in the hospital again. He likely had another stroke and his situation has worsened. I'll be in touch
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Post by freezn on Apr 1, 2023 1:50:30 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that SCJ. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We'll be here if you ever want to talk.
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Post by Animayhem on Apr 1, 2023 11:54:22 GMT -5
Dad is in the hospital again. He likely had another stroke and his situation has worsened. I'll be in touch Positive healing vibes to you and your family.
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Post by sightblinder on Apr 3, 2023 8:52:58 GMT -5
So sorry SCJ. I will be hoping for a speedy recovery for your dad and positive thoughts to you and the rest of your family.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Apr 3, 2023 14:03:19 GMT -5
An update...
He's out of the hospital. He didn't have another stroke, but he did neglect to eat anything for two days. He got dizzy when he tried to stand up, fell, then hit his head on the arm of his chair. Mom couldn't pick him up off the ground. She panicked, called me, I told her to call 911.
He had a concussion and his potassium levels were dangerously low. IV, potassium packs, a night's stay, then he was out.
We're having a bit of a discourse with my parents about having someone over throughout the day to make sure they're doing things like eating their meals and taking their pills. Mom is 84, dad is 83. She doesn't like having people over at the house, he's too proud and says he'll get better. They have a physical therapist that comes over three times per week, but that's not in-home care.
I also found a stack of bills, a month overdue. Ever since his stroke, Dad's not been mentally sound and Mom is not very tech savvy and doesn't know how to do "that computer stuff for bankings". I'm going to go through the motions of trying to make sure I'm legally able to handle his bills and (the more difficult part) getting dad to -let- me help with the bills.
Right now I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. Thank you to those that sent well wishes, I saw them here and on discord and it kept my spirits up.
Going to need more time to work through all this. Yes, I'm jealous of y'all being able to see the new stuff with pets and spells and new entry room, but I know I'll get there eventually and get to "ooh" and "ahh" with the rest of you. So for right now, see you later and Game On!
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Apr 10, 2023 11:55:10 GMT -5
My dad is mentally declining pretty quick. I did manage to get a few moments of clarity out of him.
One thing I got out of him was that several years ago he'd wisely already made arrangements that should he pass away or is lacking in mental capacity that I have power of attorney. It doesn't go to my mom because dad knew she wouldn't really know what to do. So, his foresight made a lot of things a ton easier. He has me listed as benefactor on a lot of the documents he showed me so this takes a good deal of pressure off. I'm thankful to him for that.
Second was to figure out where he had all his information their accounts stored at and where all his passwords, account numbers, general financial information.
It was gutting. This man who is the one who got me into technology, computers, all the latest "cutting edge" stuff during the late 80s and early 90s sat in front of his laptop and couldn't even get past remembering what his password was to get into the laptop. I found where he put all his passwords, got into the laptop, but once in he was there, he looked at the screen for a good long time, clicking here and there ... at some point he gave me this pained look, heaved the biggest sigh, and told me "you better do this before I mess it up further". He knew his mind just wasn't co-operating and he needed help.
I got to looking at everything and, it's a bit of a mess. I am going to need a while to get it all sorted, caught up, and recover some finances. Have to file for a tax extension and a bunch of other insurance/medical/retirement finances I need to get squared away. Luckily I have very understanding bosses, both of whom are also looking at their own aged parents with or had similar issues. So they're okay with letting me take some half days this month to sort everything out.
tl;dr What's this mean for my time on FRC? Very very shortened. Be it because of just being too mentally and emotionally drained to put my Mynian hat on or I'll be away from home and with my parents, my time on the server is going to be severely wiped until I get through a good hunk of this.
On the IC side I'll be making a few posts here and there, but ....
Mynian is elbows deep in getting set for the Spring Fling, doing dresses for Greengrass, getting the census done for Valkur's Roar, and making some time with the local merchants. I will respond to PMs so do send me one if you want to schedule a stall in the merchant faire part of the event.
Wrenna is doing some reflecting deep in the Bramblewood. She might poke her head out, but no one knows how to reach her, or knows if she's even close enough to hear the gong in Greatgaunt.
All this said, I will be back once it's smoothed over so... Game On!
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Post by Animayhem on Apr 10, 2023 13:01:02 GMT -5
My dad is mentally declining pretty quick. I did manage to get a few moments of clarity out of him. One thing I got out of him was that several years ago he'd wisely already made arrangements that should he pass away or is lacking in mental capacity that I have power of attorney. It doesn't go to my mom because dad knew she wouldn't really know what to do. So, his foresight made a lot of things a ton easier. He has me listed as benefactor on a lot of the documents he showed me so this takes a good deal of pressure off. I'm thankful to him for that. Second was to figure out where he had all his information their accounts stored at and where all his passwords, account numbers, general financial information. It was gutting. This man who is the one who got me into technology, computers, all the latest "cutting edge" stuff during the late 80s and early 90s sat in front of his laptop and couldn't even get past remembering what his password was to get into the laptop. I found where he put all his passwords, got into the laptop, but once in he was there, he looked at the screen for a good long time, clicking here and there ... at some point he gave me this pained look, heaved the biggest sigh, and told me "you better do this before I mess it up further". He knew his mind just wasn't co-operating and he needed help. I got to looking at everything and, it's a bit of a mess. I am going to need a while to get it all sorted, caught up, and recover some finances. Have to file for a tax extension and a bunch of other insurance/medical/retirement finances I need to get squared away. Luckily I have very understanding bosses, both of whom are also looking at their own aged parents with or had similar issues. So they're okay with letting me take some half days this month to sort everything out. tl;dr What's this mean for my time on FRC? Very very shortened. Be it because of just being too mentally and emotionally drained to put my Mynian hat on or I'll be away from home and with my parents, my time on the server is going to be severely wiped until I get through a good hunk of this. On the IC side I'll be making a few posts here and there, but .... Mynian is elbows deep in getting set for the Spring Fling, doing dresses for Greengrass, getting the census done for Valkur's Roar, and making some time with the local merchants. I will respond to PMs so do send me one if you want to schedule a stall in the merchant faire part of the event. Wrenna is doing some reflecting deep in the Bramblewood. She might poke her head out, but no one knows how to reach her, or knows if she's even close enough to hear the gong in Greatgaunt. All this said, I will be back once it's smoothed over so... Game On! Positive vibes to you and your family. One day at a time.
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Post by Asgardian Grey Hawk on Apr 10, 2023 15:53:21 GMT -5
Ilk makes some offerings n say some prayers.
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Post by Kat on Apr 11, 2023 20:42:40 GMT -5
Been there, done that, Ugh it's tough. Make sure you take some time for yourself and keep healthy. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family SCJ.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Apr 16, 2023 11:24:00 GMT -5
Not going to be on today as I'd hoped. Too much going on.
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Post by Animayhem on Apr 16, 2023 20:38:12 GMT -5
Not going to be on today as I'd hoped. Too much going on. Take a deep breath. One day at a time. Do not forget to take care ofyou.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Apr 28, 2023 18:01:41 GMT -5
I don't want to give much in details. This is a list of things I've had to look up in this last month that I've never had to deal with before. I'll let the list speak for itself and say that this month, this year, has not been kind.
It's so bad that I can't even think of a reason why Mynian would not be around right now. My brain is not in the game.
Things I've looked up in the past month alone:
- Tax Extensions and Power of Attorney regarding taxes - Property Taxes - Reverse Mortgages regarding Power of Attorney - Securing a 1099 tax form from a company that went out of business 30+ years ago - How to undo a two-step authentication for Amazon that's using a cell phone number that's no longer in use (and hadn't been for 2 years) - How to pay an Amazon credit card when all the website links and account numbers show up as invalid to the bank it belongs to - How to convince my elderly father, who's refusing to see the doctor for his final evaluation after his stroke, that he can't drive anymore <-- there's really no answer to this - Unlocking the doors to a Tesla - Charging up a Tesla - Driving a Tesla - Registering a new user/driver for a Tesla - Filing for a Civil Harassment Restraining Order in my state/county - Looking up security systems that don't require drilling into walls - Requesting police reports from our local department - How to attach police reports to Civil Harassment case files - Civil Harassment lawyers who work for the Plaintiffs side and it's NOT work related (ton of defense lawyers, but woe be it if you're the victim and a crime was involved) - How to acquire a Conceal and Carry license for my state - Best way to present yourself in a court hearing - How to look up case files in the county I'm in regarding a particular individual that I'm not related to - How to edit a security cam video to zoom in on a particular corner/cut out bits of audio (was windy that day so the mic picked up a lot of wind noise that hurts the ears when you turn the volume up too high) - Templates for court hearing presentations
.. home is not safe right now. Not while this individual is still around. It's been hard to sleep. We're fighting a real life bad guy right now. I don't have it in me to go into FRC right and potentially be faced with fighting the kind of "bad" guys Mynian does. It's supposed to be escapism, but if I end up feeling powerless at any point while I'm trying to enjoy myself I probably would be very OOC in the situation and end up ruining the whole thing for the DM/players involved.
Not going to risk it. I'll be around for some events and communicating things via PM. If you need Mynian for anything, let me know in a PM or Discord. I won't be in on the regular until things are resolved.
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Post by Animayhem on Apr 29, 2023 13:57:29 GMT -5
I don't want to give much in details. This is a list of things I've had to look up in this last month that I've never had to deal with before. I'll let the list speak for itself and say that this month, this year, has not been kind. It's so bad that I can't even think of a reason why Mynian would not be around right now. My brain is not in the game. Things I've looked up in the past month alone: - Tax Extensions and Power of Attorney regarding taxes - Property Taxes - Reverse Mortgages regarding Power of Attorney - Securing a 1099 tax form from a company that went out of business 30+ years ago - How to undo a two-step authentication for Amazon that's using a cell phone number that's no longer in use (and hadn't been for 2 years) - How to pay an Amazon credit card when all the website links and account numbers show up as invalid to the bank it belongs to - How to convince my elderly father, who's refusing to see the doctor for his final evaluation after his stroke, that he can't drive anymore <-- there's really no answer to this - Unlocking the doors to a Tesla - Charging up a Tesla - Driving a Tesla - Registering a new user/driver for a Tesla - Filing for a Civil Harassment Restraining Order in my state/county - Looking up security systems that don't require drilling into walls - Requesting police reports from our local department - How to attach police reports to Civil Harassment case files - Civil Harassment lawyers who work for the Plaintiffs side and it's NOT work related (ton of defense lawyers, but woe be it if you're the victim and a crime was involved) - How to acquire a Conceal and Carry license for my state - Best way to present yourself in a court hearing - How to look up case files in the county I'm in regarding a particular individual that I'm not related to - How to edit a security cam video to zoom in on a particular corner/cut out bits of audio (was windy that day so the mic picked up a lot of wind noise that hurts the ears when you turn the volume up too high) - Templates for court hearing presentations .. home is not safe right now. Not while this individual is still around. It's been hard to sleep. We're fighting a real life bad guy right now. I don't have it in me to go into FRC right and potentially be faced with fighting the kind of "bad" guys Mynian does. It's supposed to be escapism, but if I end up feeling powerless at any point while I'm trying to enjoy myself I probably would be very OOC in the situation and end up ruining the whole thing for the DM/players involved. Not going to risk it. I'll be around for some events and communicating things via PM. If you need Mynian for anything, let me know in a PM or Discord. I won't be in on the regular until things are resolved. *hugs*
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Post by Fiddlesticks on Apr 29, 2023 14:41:59 GMT -5
My eyes bugged out when I read this, worrying indeed. Hope you're OK, have good support and are taking care of yourself too.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on May 2, 2023 12:33:50 GMT -5
Thanks again for the reach out, guys.
Sunday he moved. Evicted. We've had some peace, but they still know where we live. 3 meters is not nearly enough space for a temporary restraining order.
Hearing is next Wednesday (5/10) and we need to knuckle down and get everything in order for it.
I'm not going to promise to be in game or available. I can't at this junction. We'll see how the hearing goes and move on from there.
I'll occasionally chat in Discord to maybe distract myself, but not too much.
Keep safe, everyone, and Game On.
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Post by grivel on May 8, 2023 15:22:09 GMT -5
Hang in there. The game will be here when you are ready.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on May 14, 2023 15:26:37 GMT -5
Update:
- He didn't show up to the hearing. Judge ruled to uphold the restraining order to it's full distance of 100 yards. He's not to contact us in any way, shape, or form. If we see him, we immediately call the police.
- Since he didn't show and moved without leaving a forwarding address, we had to hire a Private Investigator to track him down and get the Court Order served. We have some information to give to them, but not enough to really go on. We're hoping the PI can pull a miracle for us.
- Same day of the hearing, my father fell again. Confirmed that he had another stroke. He's not doing well. We're in the process of finding either in-home hospice care or a care home to have him stay in. I've had no luck in getting in touch with his doctor. I have to wait until tomorrow to actually speak to anyone.
- We're very likely going to have to move in with my mom (we don't mind that), but I have to work at clearing the reverse mortgage on the house first. If we move, but then end up losing the house to the bank, that will leave the family in a very tough position. We have options on how to close it out, we just need to figure what's going to work best for us.
I have 0% brain capacity to do any kind of RP right now. I hope to get back to playing eventually, but it's not going to be soon.
I love all of you guys. Game on!
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Post by sightblinder on May 15, 2023 8:11:48 GMT -5
We'll be here when you are ready SCJ.
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Post by Animayhem on May 15, 2023 16:29:50 GMT -5
We'll be here when you are ready SCJ. Yes positive vibes. One day at a time and there is always discord if you need to unload.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Jun 15, 2023 21:31:48 GMT -5
The latest:
- PI wasn't able to locate him. Last told he had traded in his motorcycle for a trailer and is likely a full transient now. All we can do is just keep eye out for him and if he shows, call the police. We have a camera security system set up at all our entrances for a little extra protection, so there's that.
- As of yesterday, Dad is now in a full skilled nurse facility at least for 2 weeks. He had to go to the emergency room last Friday again as he fell asleep while eating and inhaled a bit of food. We literally can not leave him alone for a second.
- I'm hoping the social worker says he will be at the facility for longer than 2 weeks. Not because I don't want my dad around, but we really need to get the house more fitted for him to stay here. My spouse had been putting in a herculean effort in doing the lion's share of caring for him with only half the needed equipment and almost drove themselves into the ground doing it. This "time off" will help them recover and give us all the time we need to settle affairs. Including getting some in-home care to watch him so we can get some sleep and get some of our lives back.
- My affair is taking on this reverse mortgage company and get mom & dad's house out from under it. Between trying to go to work, going back and forth between two homes, helping take care of dad with his pills/appointments, and keeping up with finances for two households, I haven't had much time to really start punching. (have had no time for anything else, tbh) Now I can. Got my credit union and a lawyer in my pocket already and she's raring to go once I get all my paperwork over to her.
- The VA Clinic has been extremely helpful in pointing us in the right directions. Dad did serve in the Air Force so we've been able to utilize some of their aid in getting all our ducks in a row. Things like locating an inexpensive medical bed and other devises. We're good to get everything we need so it's just a matter of reorganizing the whole house around the concept of a room he'll be sleeping in where we can take better care of him without exhausting ourselves doing it.
I still don't know when I'll have time to play again on the regular. Sucks considering what's going on with my main PC. Not sure how I can explain her absence right now ... house arrest? *shrug*
anyway, RL continues on, so game on, y'all!
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Post by Animayhem on Jun 16, 2023 15:36:09 GMT -5
The latest: - PI wasn't able to locate him. Last told he had traded in his motorcycle for a trailer and is likely a full transient now. All we can do is just keep eye out for him and if he shows, call the police. We have a camera security system set up at all our entrances for a little extra protection, so there's that. - As of yesterday, Dad is now in a full skilled nurse facility at least for 2 weeks. He had to go to the emergency room last Friday again as he fell asleep while eating and inhaled a bit of food. We literally can not leave him alone for a second. - I'm hoping the social worker says he will be at the facility for longer than 2 weeks. Not because I don't want my dad around, but we really need to get the house more fitted for him to stay here. My spouse had been putting in a herculean effort in doing the lion's share of caring for him with only half the needed equipment and almost drove themselves into the ground doing it. This "time off" will help them recover and give us all the time we need to settle affairs. Including getting some in-home care to watch him so we can get some sleep and get some of our lives back. - My affair is taking on this reverse mortgage company and get mom & dad's house out from under it. Between trying to go to work, going back and forth between two homes, helping take care of dad with his pills/appointments, and keeping up with finances for two households, I haven't had much time to really start punching. (have had no time for anything else, tbh) Now I can. Got my credit union and a lawyer in my pocket already and she's raring to go once I get all my paperwork over to her. - The VA Clinic has been extremely helpful in pointing us in the right directions. Dad did serve in the Air Force so we've been able to utilize some of their aid in getting all our ducks in a row. Things like locating an inexpensive medical bed and other devises. We're good to get everything we need so it's just a matter of reorganizing the whole house around the concept of a room he'll be sleeping in where we can take better care of him without exhausting ourselves doing it. I still don't know when I'll have time to play again on the regular. Sucks considering what's going on with my main PC. Not sure how I can explain her absence right now ... house arrest? *shrug* anyway, RL continues on, so game on, y'all! Do not forget to take care of yourself or you cannot help others. The VA should be able to help in part with home aids and maybe home visits. Positive vibes to you.
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Post by ShadowCatJen on Jul 25, 2023 18:31:44 GMT -5
So, June 27th, just as we were still trying to find what my dad's baseline is (baseline helps with deciding what level of care he's going to need) ... he ends up falling out of a wheelchair trying to get up on his own when the nurses weren't looking, falls, and breaks his hip. He goes back to the hospital and has surgery on his hip.
Baseline evaluation now has to wait for him to do rehab for post surgery and have an evaluation for recovery on his hip. Then we see about his baseline.
August 8th is when the eval on the recovery on his hip is supposed to be. We take everything from there.
Then my spouse and I are aiming to fully move in with my mom hopefully by the end of August, but mid-September is looking more like it. The delays in getting my dad to a more permanent care home has stalled a lot of things and we're in this frustrating middle ground where all we can do is hold our current pattern and wait.
His healing is taking much longer then they thought it would and his every increasing signs of dementia make it hard for everyone involved. We tell him to not stand up on his own without someone there strong enough to help him up and down ... which seems to flee his memory when he has a "good" physical therapy day. He doesn't quite realize that his "good" day is his upper end, not his "normal". His "normal" is not being able to keep balance, even while sitting up in bed.
Now every time I hear from the RNs that he's been sitting up and standing well during physical therapy, I get this anxious knot in my stomach. That I'm going to get yet another phone call from them at about 8 or 9 PM to tell me he's fallen again.
Oh yeah! This is the second time he's fallen btw. First time it was a slight bump on the head after he tried to get up out of his bed on his own. Nothing major, but enough that they took him to the ER for a few hours to get him fully examined. You'd think that would be enough to get a bed alarm on him to prevent him from getting up on his own again. No, apparently, it took him breaking his hip for them to see how much of a fall risk he was.
If I sound frustrated .... I am. I mean, I understand they are understaffed and overwhelmed by the number of people they have to take care of there. I do. However, the delays in getting him evaluated keep him in a place where his fall risk poses a serious threat. We need to get him into a place that can pay way more attention to what he's doing on a full time basis.
Anyway, that's my rant for today. Hope to catch some of you in game when I can.
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