Post by Raven Credale on May 16, 2019 19:06:29 GMT -5
From Aellas journal:
I've been thinking lately, people are getting married or throwing themselves into relationships like it's the end of days...I know I have Sylus and I'd be calling the cauldron black if I said I didn't do the same thing. I mean I'm a twenty one almost twenty two year old half elven monk looking to get purple glowing eyes because a dead god is influencing me in ways I seriously don't get.
Anyway, Sylus is human, normal everyday human that's an idiot at times. But he's younger than me, I can tell by just how young his face is and how it doesn't looked like it's aged. The beard does make him manly but...he's got a baby face under it. I can tell. I'm getting side tracked here, he's human I'm half elven, ten to one says by the time he reaches his goal with the PDK he'll be an old man. And I might have my purple eyes before then...so...*sighs* I feel like it'll be a few years before we're ever married. I will admit that I've already told him that if he asked me I'd say yes.
Heh while I'm thinking about it...Norah brought up the idea that I should send an application to join the RCMH become a squire and such. All because of a debate I had one day with Saori. Albeit at the time I didn't understand her motivation for moving forward but I've seen how she is around Izzy and the dragon blood Thorell. They're a good unit and I wouldn't doubt that I'm no longer in the same skill range as Saori. After all she has a competent team to venture out with at all times...where I'm...well I don't have that. I have Sylus but lately I've been going back into mandatory meditations at night. During the day...I've only got myself to venture out with most days. But it is what it is I guess. I...can't keep up with Sylus as he grows stronger by the day. So I may as well stop trying.
Wow way off topic there, anyway Norah said that if I don't feel like I've a purpose or satisfaction with just randomly venturing out, she thinks the RCMH would be a good fit for me. Though...as much as I'd want to, I think I'll focus on my monastic training. After all, even if I'm not an official member of the RCMH, Sylus will more than likely 'dragon' me on his missions as a member of his team when he gets that far. I mean I can see his higher ups questioning it for a long while, but eventually it might just turn into "Okay well guess this means his wife is going to be tagging along too. Can't seem to stop them from pairing up." Well that's what I think it'll get to be like later on. Honestly I'm not ready for marriage now. Still to young for that. Maybe...in few years. Definitely before Sylus is 90 years old though. Maybe when he's in his 50's or 70's hehehe. Just kidding.
Post by Raven Credale on May 21, 2019 19:50:53 GMT -5
From Aellas journal:
Lately I've been finding myself in the company of others more than I've been in Sylus's. Though I can peg that on my mandatory meditations at night. But even during the day I don't see him, either we are in two different places or already in a group with other people. Sometimes I imagine him walking up in his old armor and joining the group that slowly being formed. If only for the reason to venture out and watch/ admire me.
Sometime I wonder what it would be like when I did manage to catch up to him. We could go to places much different than the ones we go to now. The necropolis is on the list of places I'd like to go to for training. There's also this fire temple I've heard about. Honestly I've never fought a fire giant, so I wonder if they're as hard the hill and frost Giants. There's also the swamps I've wanted to go to as well as the Tun and farther down into the Upperdark. At least past the salamanders there and their explosive traps.
But I know that if I want to traverse those places I need to be stronger. I must get stronger.
Post by Raven Credale on May 24, 2019 15:09:03 GMT -5
From Aella's journal:
I'm sore today, very sore. Finally went down to the Necropolis today with fellow Monk of the Old Order Astraeus, Claire a follower of Sune, The self proclaimed luckiest Bard in Cormyr Sabel, and for a time the elf mage Freya. Is it always that difficult? The undead were challenging but according to the others they were tougher than normal. I don't know what normal is for the necropolis but that was my first time going there. Honestly I thought it was some cave surrounded by undead that went deep into the earth but it's...definitely a challenging place to go to. I wonder though, had I not been curious about it today, would things have gotten worse there? Either way, I learned a lot from there but I feel like there's still more I need to learn. I need to strengthen my body now. The undead that have a death gaze didn't seem to affect me as I fought them, but maybe I just got lucky. I know I'll be feeling the adventure tomorrow more than I'm feeling it right now. But it was well worth it.
Post by Raven Credale on May 25, 2019 15:03:40 GMT -5
A letter to home:
I think I'll be coming home after tomorrow...maybe. I just wanted to give you a word in advance so you didn't think some thing horrible happened to me here in Cormyr. I just...I miss home.
I don't think anyone will miss me to terribly if I came home. I don't think many would even notice. After all, people come and go here all the time. I...I'm not going to tell Sylus though. Lately we haven't been around each other. But I'll tell you about it in person. There's only so much room to write things out on parchment. I'm sure he won't mind or notice. He's got a lot of responsibilities since he's a Squire in the RCMH.
But I think a few days home after my birthday tomorrow will be alright. Honestly...I doubt others will even know so it'll just be another day. I only told Sylus so...here's hoping tomorrow is a good one.
Post by Raven Credale on May 26, 2019 7:50:57 GMT -5
A letter from home:
You best stay in Cormyr. Your father and I have decided to head to Evermeet for a while. You're third uncle has been wanting to meet your father for the longest of time and has sworn he won't turn him into a chicken for fun. If he does well...you know how I get. Either way, stay safe and try your best!
Post by Raven Credale on Jun 7, 2019 19:00:12 GMT -5
From Aella's Sketchbook:
Master Rei Ming Departed from the material plain, but living in the wind and water. From the far east. Knowledgeable and wise. "There is always something to learn, there is never an end to the lessons for life"
Post by Raven Credale on Dec 12, 2019 13:24:40 GMT -5
(Below the sketch in Aellas hand writing)
Recently my dreams have been getting stranger. I don't know why but in them it feels as though something is feeding off my Ki and slowly dissolving my body. I've never read about anything that can do this, so maybe its just my mind being overactive. If these dreams persist I'll look into them. If not then I can go about thing normally. Til then, I won't think to much on this. Theres no reason to blow this out of proportion just yet.
Post by Raven Credale on Dec 14, 2019 19:02:50 GMT -5
After spending many moons meditating over her greatest fear, Aella finally opened her eyes and sighed. Even in her meditation she could not find the block that prevented her from moving on in her spiritual journey. With a gentle nod, she got to her feet then headed for her room at the inn. If she could not find her greatest fear, perhaps she needed more training before she could open the first pool of her Chakra.
"It's still a few days journey to Greatgaunt from High Horn. But I think it's about time I come down from the mountain. Sylus no doubt has become stronger. Vindel is probably off being Vindel....guess that means I'll have to find a new group to venture out with. Pretty Sure I can't go back to the Gem Mine with Norah again. I'd probably hold her back, but that's okay. I'm in no rush here. I'll get to that level of strength someday." She softly told herself as she gathered up her gear.
With her belongings stored away, Aella picked up her staff and headed out of the inn. Thanking the keeper then left the establishment. She headed to the gates of the town and stretched before holding her staff behind her back as she looked out into the distance.
"It's a Tenday travel to Greatgaunt from here. If I take the long way...so let's do that. Then we'll see about what sort of trouble I can get into when I'm off the mountain." A gentle smirk crossed her lips.
The monk in black then made her descent towards the rest of the land known as Cormyr.
Post by Raven Credale on Dec 22, 2019 8:35:39 GMT -5
While Aella was camping for the night in a forest, the young monk was sitting against a tree looking over a note that Moshi, her gran grans black cat, had brought her. A moment passed before she tipped her head back and looked up towards the tree tops. Aellas mind was a flurry of thoughts, most of it was worry while some was thinking up 'worst case' scenarios.
Canting her head to one side to look at the sleeping black cat beside her, Aella felt like there wasn't much she could do. Yes, she tried to think on the bright side of things but without knowing if what the note said is still current or not was driving her mad with worry.
So in some attempt to ease her mind, she brought out her sketchbook and started to draw. True it had been a time for her since she last sketched anything or anyone, but there was only one person on her mind at this point. An hour or two later, Aella gently nudged the cat awake.
"Moshi....Moshi, wake up kitty kitty." She softly spoke.
The cat did that mix of a purr with a meow before opening its eyes and looking at the monk beside it. It was clear to see the cat had been enjoying a dream and was a bit grumpy that it was woken up.
"I know, dreaming about Tuna fish again. But I need you take something to the person that put this note in your collar. Or at least try to anyways." Aella said as she held the small note to the cat.
Moshi looked at the note then sat up so Aella could tie a different note to its collar. Once she was done, Moshi stretched with a yawn then sasshayed off to deliver the note.
Aella relaxed against the tree again for a moment before pulling her knees close to her chest so she could rest her forehead against them.
Post by Raven Credale on Dec 30, 2019 16:33:45 GMT -5
As Aella camped outside a few miles from Suzails West gate, something kept nagging her from the back of her mind. She wasn't sure what it could have been but the feeling didn't seem like it was going to go away.
"Moshi~, here kitty kitty kitty~" Aella called out while she pulled her ink well, quill and some parchment from her bag. It wasn't long before the cat sauntered over to Aella then sat pretty beside her. "Here, I need you to take another note into the city. Same person as before. Think you can do that for me you handsome cat you?" Aella asked as she finished writing then held the note out to the cat.
Moshi sniffed the paper then looked at Aella before meowing. As if to ask "Am I going to be rewarded for this?"
"How does a bucket of fish sound. Freshly caught too." Aella wiggled the note again. "I know a place that has fish daily~ all you can eat and I'll pay for every last fish."
The cats ears perk up a bit before a low purr rumbles from it. Pleased at the offer. It soon lifts its head and allows Aella to fold the note around its collar like before. Once the young monk was done, the cat dashed off towards the city.
"Guess this means I'm making a trip to Marsember for the fish later." Aella softly smirked as she sketched something silly in her sketchbook.
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 2, 2020 7:42:09 GMT -5
When Moshi returned to the young monk, the cat found her with a layer of snow on her while she was meditating. The black cat meows longer her attention then kneeds her leg before the woman opened her eyes and looks at the cat.
Spotting the new note, she takes it from Moshi's Collar and reads it over before smacking her forehead once she's done. "And I thought he was suppose to be smart for a mage...that idiot elf..."
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 7, 2020 9:54:01 GMT -5
While Aella ate her fourth cupcake feon sugaramiths, she thought about all the things she fear. Which if she was really honest was not much at all. She thought and thought for a long time.
Eventually the young monk sighed and finished her cupcake. "What is it that I fear? There has to be something. I can't be that much of a fearless person...can I?" She thought to herself.
"You are thinking to much of yourself kiddo." A familiar voice said with a playful chuckled. Aella turned her head to her left and there stood a moon elf with dark blue eyes. "Ever try thinking outside of yourself?" Syl'Adria asked.
"Aunti Xu...I mean Syl'Adria." Aella smiled. "Why are you hear?"
"My sassy niece senses were going off. Figured I'd pop by and see what was wrong. And child, you look as though your ready to pop a blood vessel."
Aella nodded before sighing. "Spiritual monk training and all. I can't figure out what I'm truly afraid of."
"Death." Syl'Adria said.
"No." Aella said. "I'm not afraid of death."
"But you are afraid of being abandoned. You can out live most of the people you know. And death can come for them at any time. Be it today or tomorrow or ten years from now. The thought of losing someone you see as something to keep you stable terrifies you deep down. What would you do if you lost that squire of yours? Or someone like this Vindel I heard about. What about Norah or anyone else you've mentally put on a pedestal? What would you do if they all turned their backs on you and walked away into deaths arms. Leaving you all alone."
Aella blinked for a moment as she thought this over. What would she do? She looked down for a moment then looked back up but when she did her aunt was gone. Leaving Aella to greatly ponder the question Syl'Adria had left her with.
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 9, 2020 9:05:54 GMT -5
While looking at the last of her cupcakes from sugarsmiths, Aella sighed before storing the sweet away. Once more her mind has wandered off onto a dark topic but it was also tied to the question she had been asked.
"What would I do...if they all died." She softly spoke then closed her eyes.
Entering her mindscape, Aella looked this question over before she felt a chill run down her spine. Looking over her shoulder she saw a reaper looming over her. The face hidden by the hood but the scythe was not so hard to miss. When she looked forward again, tombstones now littered her view. Each one had a name on it. Each one belonged to someone she cared about.
"What will you do. Now that you are alone Aella Malein." The reaper asked in a raspy voice. "Your loved ones are gone. They have left you behind to face the Terrors that still wait in the world."
Aella looked at the graves. Her expression slowly draining to something neutral. Void of feelings and empty. "I don't know. What can I do? All that held me up....all that kept me whole...is gone."
It wasn't long after she said this, that a grave opened at her feet. She looked at it and without pause, fell into the darkness.
Aella's eyes soon snapped open as she panted a bit. After taking a moment to calm her breathing, Aella processed what she had just seen in her mind. Confused by what she had witnessed, she got to her feet and placed for a moment.
"Well I know falling into the grave was not the answer. But...that was a pure moment of weakness. Now what the heck did I eat to conjure up the image of a reaper in my mindscape?" She paused for a moment then shook her head.
"No matter. I know my weakness, my greatest fear. And I know the answer to that fear as of right now. Which means it's the wrong answer." The young monk came to a stop then placed her hands on her hips. "I need to find the right answer to that question Auntie gave me. Or else I'll never get past this block and move on to the next one." She looked down at her feet for a moment. "But that doesn't mean the pain wasn't real. Sure it was in my mind...but even then...that pain was as real as my own two hands."
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 14, 2020 3:36:21 GMT -5
An entry in Aellas journal
"For the past few days I've been trying to meditate on what the right answer to my greatest fear is. It's not something that can easily be overcome like a fear of heights, this fear is one that haunts everyone. The fear of losing a loved one. I get that everyone loses someone eventually...we all have to die at some point. But...what if we're not ready to lose someone?
I'm at a loss about this. I have an extended life I'll out live somenof the people I know and that if no one dies befor I reach a hundred. But death comes when it wants to come. It's like a wizard, it's never late. It arrives exactly when it means to arrive.
Heh...if only it was so simple to laugh and let go of the fear. I wonder though...is it selfish to believe that I'll see the people in this life again in the next one? Am I simply trying ronfool myself with the idea of reincarnation being possible? Can a soul even come back to the world once it has crossed over to the after life?
It's late at night and my mind is riddled with things. I can't sleep becasue of them. Maybe I'll try writing a book on Psionics...well a basic understanding of it anyways. Just something to get my mind off whatever it's on."
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 19, 2020 4:13:45 GMT -5
It was late at night, Aella was resting in an inn beside her love. However her night was not a peaceful one. As she slept, her mind started to play something out.
Aella was in Mystras Grove meditating like normal. Beside her near the stream was Sylus, cleaning his armor after another successful hunt. Across from her was Vindel just....doing whatever Vindel normally does on his down time. Things were calm, quiet, only the sounds of the grove and Sylus's humming filled the air. That is...until things turned quiet
Aella opened her eyes when everything was eerily quiet all of a sudden. She looked around and and took note of what she was seeing. The sky was a blood red, the ground covered in soot, and the smell of charred remains filled her nostrils. Sylus and Vindel were gone, not a trace left of them in the area but there was another person. A woman.
She wore black robes and a hood. Her eyes were hidden but from what Aella could see from the face showed that she had fair colored skin. The woman stood roughly around Aellas height. When Aella stood the woman canted her head a bit. When Aella tried to speak she couldn't say a word. It was like her voice had disappeared along with every other sound. If anything, it felt like she wasn't even there. The woman started to walk closer before stopping at where Sylus had been. She didn't say anything but knelt down and pushed her hood back. Dark red hair tumbled over her shoulders before she turned her head and looked directly at where Aella was.
Aella felt her blood run cold as she looked at the woman. In truth it was a double of her but this version was...wrong. Her eyes were gone but there was an eerie white light in in the black sockets. Soon a black ooze spilled over the doubles cheeks. Holding out a hand the double pulled Aella from her spot into the doppelgangers hand.
As Aella starred into the eerie eyes of her twisted self, she heard the creature say something. Yet as the words entered her ears, the static ringing sound felt like her head was splitting open.
The doppelganger let Aella go, and the young monk shot awake from her sleep. A cold sweat ran down her face as she looked to the Sleeping squire beside her. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed Aella covered her face with her hands.
Her mind was still in turmoil over what she learned, her heart still hurt from the news, yet she knew there was nothing she could do. Lifting her head from her hands, Aella looked out the nearby window and silently sighed. She looked back to her hands and studied them for a long time.
"If I could...would I even be able to change the course of events? Or would I simply prolong the inevitable?" She thought to herself. "....Somethings cannot be avoided..." she quietly said
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 22, 2020 7:59:42 GMT -5
As she looking in the mirror, Aellas hazel eyes fell on the brand in between her shoulders. Reaching back she lightly grazed a nail across it. "After all this time...I still don't have the whole picture of how I got this. Maybe bits and pieces...but not enough to give the whole story." She softly murmured to herself.
A sighed escapednher before she put her top robe on. Maybe one day she'd learn the full story of a past that was murky to her.
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 25, 2020 9:21:35 GMT -5
By morning light, Aella is seen walking out of Skull Crag. Dark circles are clearly seen under her eyes as she moves past guards and others. She doesn't speak when others greet her, her dull hazel eyes merely look at them for a moment before she continues on. But in those eyes, one could see an intense sadness mingled with great pain.
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 26, 2020 7:28:43 GMT -5
From Aella journal
"Takling with Sylus helped me coup with what has happened...said he'll take me to visit his grave when everything is settled down. I...I still don't want to believe it's true though. My mind wants to believe he'll come back, that this was all some dark joke deserving a slap across the face...but my gut says it's not...
I finished writing a book though, on a lighter note. I titled it 'Psionics: A basic understanding'. Gran gran had many tomes that went into greater and confusing details, I put all that simplified into one book. So...I'm not really the first to do this sort of topic. However one discipline is still nagging at my mind.
Psychoportation...I told Sylus of my crazy theoretical idea. To learn this discipline and go back in time to stop Vindel from...like I said...it is a crazy theoretical idea. I...I don't know if the outcome would be different...or if it would ultimately be the same...though he and I have the same theory though. My first life used Psychoportation to create a time loop until the Reaper gave them what they wanted...thus creating the Soul of a Thousand lives. No idea if it's true or not, but I'd like to think so. Sass the reaper into reincarnation of a single soul...which later vexes them.
But...it will be a long time before I can get to that point in my training. By then I might already have moved on from this idea. Perhaps I am to desperate to see my brother again...to at least spend a little more time with him before he leaves for good...
Maybe...I...maybe dad could help me with this. He already has Psychoportation unlocked, hells he got me from one side of the ocean to the other. Said it was faster than taking a boat. So...maybe I could convince him to send me and two other people into the past...or maybe he'll smack me on the head with a very big tome and tell me I shouldn't be messing around with the flow of time. I might accidentally cause another war, more talking animals, or Dragon Overlords...which I find hard to believe...it'd only be a few months back, not a hundred years.
I should probably stop this train of thought before I convince myself this is the best idea I've ever had... I should find a new group to venture out with when I'm out and about again. That'll help keep me from thinking on this crazy idea....I hope."
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 27, 2020 7:49:26 GMT -5
As Aella sat in the Hullack near the inn, she softly sang to herself. Normally she only does this if something is really troubling her. Regardless of who was listening as she sang, she didn't seem to notice them. Her eyes were shut so how could she? Perhaps the reason she was singing is because she couldn't meditate like normal.
Post by Raven Credale on Jan 28, 2020 10:35:52 GMT -5
From Aellas journal
"I never saw Vindel as a bad guy. I never blamed him for anything he had done. To me, he was someone who was simply misguided and had a bad string of luck. Yet to others...he was a monster in elven form. A creature that wasn't worth knowing let alone saving. They only saw what they wanted to see.
To me, he was an interesting enigma. Someone who admits to have done bad things, yet also tried to do good from time to time. Selective in who to trust, but when he did...he was protective of them. So long as he lived, those people had someone watching their backs from the shadows. He wasn't innately evil, if he was...thenlivesnofnothers would not matter. He would not have felt guilt for their loss. Nor would he have followed his god of choice. A rather ironic choice I must admit, but one I can understand.
Thinking back on it...It's odd how I felt like I understood him. Even without trying, I knew where he was coming from and at time I felt like I knew more than a few others. To get a glimpse of who he really was. Did I conjure up the ideas of him sticking an actual knife in my back? Once or twice. Which would have been fine with me, at least it was him and not a hired assassin.
Did those thoughts stuck with me? Not for very long. I know Sylus is taking this hard. He was there, he tried to stop Vindel before he was imprisoned. He was at the execution and despite the carnival feeling of how he depicted it...it all feels wrong. Why celebrate the death of someone who showed emotions to a select few? Why kill someone who regretted their actions? Why kill someone who could have been an astounding asset alive.
...If I had achieved my perfect self and followed the Psychoportation discipline, I could have shown Vindel all the ancient civilizations. I could have gathered so much knowledge for him to look over. I know he liked having information. Specifically stuff dealing with magic, he was a mage after all. He could have earned so much and been a bigger help...but now...
Now it's just Sylus and I. There is still Ja, but I haven't seen him around. Part of me says I heard him then other day though...at the time I wasn't in any mood to really talk or acknowledge others. Perhaps when things have settled and my mind is at ease with everything..."
Post by Raven Credale on Feb 16, 2020 22:10:21 GMT -5
An entry from Aellas journal:
Lately my mind wants to replay the time I spent in a cell as a kid. Usually when I try to sleep do the memories invade my dreams. Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating from the events. Other times...it feels wrong. Like my memories of the events aren't right.
Maybe there's a part of me that suspects that my past isn't what I think it is. I don't know really, but these nigbtmares haven't stopped. If anything they've been persistent. Maybe Auppenser is trying to tell me something. Either face my past...or see if it's even the same as I remember it.
Just...what exactly happened to me when I was a kid? Why was I kidnapped? Is my memory...real or was it fabricated? Is my mind trying to protect me from something...so much worse?
I remember being forced to fight, that I had no choice. If I lost, I died. I remember the iron bars and the cold damp stone of my cell...I remember the smell of blood, the sound of bones breaking. I remember hearing the whimpers lf others, begging to be let go of. Pleading for their lives...I remember the sound of cool steel leaving its sheath...then cutting across bare flesh...
But...is that really what happened or was it fabricated to hide sometbing far more horrible than what *I* remember?
Post by Raven Credale on Feb 18, 2020 13:19:56 GMT -5
Aella sat in the common area of Talbots inn on one of the chouches. She was sitting cross legged with her arms crossed over her chest while lightly bouncing one of her crossed legs.
"If its 1384DR now and the city was founded in -5800DR....that means...-7184 years have passed right? No no that can't be right....maybe -4416 years?" She soon uncrossed her arms and messed up her own hair. "Gah, why can't I math this?!"