A Bardic Competition

[Nim_White]

While we are all stuck in the Inn sheltering from the storm that has paralysed the world, folk might like to join in a little bardic competition.

You are invited to write a limerick, in classical form (see below if you don't know what this is), which must start with the line:

"There was a red wizard of Thay"

Post your gem (or gems - multiple entries are allowed) in this thread.

Closing date for entries is Friday week - i.e. 13.1.7, midnight GMT (by which time let us pray the server will have long been back up)

Entries will be judged by Mezereon Thymelaea (Bard about town)
assisted by Hudosuld Waifpauble (Bookseller)
Alleyne of Herne (Bard), and
Corbiodumgnus Pugn(Priest)

No correspondence will be entered into, and the judges decision will be final.

An example of a classic form limerick, using the set starting line:

There was a red wizard of Thay
Who behaved in an arrogant way;
If his manners he'd mend
He might find a friend,
But that day's a long way away.

If response is good enough, there may be a small prize for the best entry.

And by the way you don't have to be a bard or have a bard character to enter - everyone is welcome to have a go.....

[sundano]

There was a red wizard of Thay
Doom da da doom da da doom
Doom doom doom
Doom da da doom
Doom da da doom doom doom

[Thanatos]

I wonder if this perhaps belong in the Regal Griffon section of the forums... In any case!

Archilochos' cheerful entry... *ahem*

There was a red wizard of Thay
Who had a new slave to buy;
For the last one he flayed
For having disobeyed,
But not before taking his eyes.

The moral of the limmerick is: "Better to be a slave in Chessenta than one in Thay."

[Helgrin Granitesoul]

Der once was dis Wizard from Thay
Dat always thought he had somethin ta say
Me told him shut up and relax
Den took his damn head wit me axe
Me liked him much better dat way

The moral of this one... Never try to get the last word in with a dwarf *snort*

[Driderman]

There was a red wizard from Thay
His manners were annoyingly gay
He smiled and he preened
But women they screamed
Cause undeath had taken his looks away

N.B: Gay as is in merry, up-beat behaviour, not the sexual orientation

If this is supposed to be an in-character which I assume it is, this was submitted by Arathos Valencaer

[Nim_White]

Just to clarify - it doesn't have to be in-character, which is why I put it in this area rather than in the Regal Griffon Inn area. After all, there may be players with poetic ambitions which their in-game characters would not have.......

It is nice to see a character attribution, on the other hand, where that is appropriate.

[Nim_White]

There was a red wizard of Thay
Who wished Helgrin a Happy Birthday
And said; " I've a notion
To give you a potion....."
But the dwarf axed his head anyway


(Sorry, couldn't resist it - this is not an 'official entry'}

[heimdall]

There was a Red Wizard of Thay
Or 'former' as he'd like to say,
When facing a demon named Orcus,
He bungled his spell and thus porked us,
Of this fact we remind him each day.

;D

[Retired DM Gallin]

nolf1983 said:

There was a red wizard of Thay
With a purse in a terrible way
His heart he did declare
To a rich maiden so fair
But in the end he still had to pay

That's not really a limerick.... the rythm is off...

~Gallin - The Grammar Nazi

EDIT: Don't take it personally, it looks like a lot of people either didn't get this lesson in english class, or are really bad at counting beats. A limerick is more then just a 5 line poem.

It should be 3 beats on the first, second, and fifth line; 2 beats on the third and fourth. Check out this link for more info:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29

[Driderman]

driderman said:

There was a red wizard from Thay
His manners were annoyingly gay
He smiled and he preened
But women they screamed
Cause undeath had taken his looks away

I actually thought I hit it pretty well but looking at it now it seem the fifth line might be a bit off... and line four as well.
*Shrugs* Guess thats why Arathos is a fighter and not a bard

[Thanatos]

And by the by, I do pronounce 'Thay' as though it could rhyme with 'aye'. But heck, if it really ain't the norm, then we'll say that Archilochos is pronouncing it the Chessentan way.

[heimdall]

I think I was probably writing up a character's background history or documenting their latest exploits...or making some elaborate dungeon...through most of my schoolin...

How's this one Gallin?

There was a Red Wizard from Thay,
or 'former' as he'd often say,
He'll fight to the finish,
If he eats his spinich...
Or something like that anyway...

(ok ~ that one's just horrible - lol)

[Retired DM Gallin]

driderman said:

driderman said:

There was a red wizard from Thay
His manners were annoyingly gay
He smiled and he preened
But women they screamed
Cause undeath had taken his looks away

I actually thought I hit it pretty well but looking at it now it seem the fifth line might be a bit off... and line four as well.
*Shrugs* Guess thats why Arathos is a fighter and not a bard

It was the third line that first got my attention, it's the "he" that throws it off. And then the fifth line... all the cramming in the world couldn't smash that into 3 beats ^.^

~Gallin

[heimdall]

There was a (former) Red Wizard of Thay...
Who found himself sentenced to jail
Past acts of reknown
Bore him likeness in stone,
Yet he now has to 'go' in a pail...

*searches in vain for 'the beat'* ;D

[Mehangel]

There was a Red Wizard of Thay
Who threw about spells in the day
The War Wizards came
To find out his name
And asked that the wizard should stay

The Red Wizard replied in quick
And waved his magic walking stick
Out rang a loud boom
The War Wizard's doom
And said he would stay like a tick

Rumors spread throughout the city
Of cruel deeds done by the witty
Harpers gathered about
Of them somewhat stout
And said they would give no pity

Arcane utterences were heard
Divine Harpers would not be stirred
They countered the spells
The Red Wizard's shells
And all the magic that was word

Summoning Circles were then drawn
That the Red Wizard might them pawn
The Harpers then smiled
Their white teeth all tiled
Then summoned were Harper's at dawn

Thayan Wizard overpowered
But he would not be called coward
The Harpers attacked
With song and sword hacked
The Harpers died as he towered

The Red Wizard had won the day
Had made Harpers and others pay
Then was he backstabbed
By Rogue he was jabbed
There (Once) was a Red Wizard of Thay
__________________________________

((I think I did okay for a first entry, If we were only supposed to use only five lines please presume I wanted the first five lines.))

[Retired DM Gallin]

heimdall said:

There was a (former) Red Wizard of Thay...
Who found himself sentenced to jail
Past acts of reknown
Bore him likeness in stone,
Yet he now has to 'go' in a pail...

*searches in vain for 'the beat'* ;D

Oh and while you're searching for that beat Heimy, the first, second, and fifth lines are supposed to rhyme. *Slaps Heimy around a bit with a large trout*

I'd try and help you out with "the beat" but it's really hard to explain without me actually facing you and clapping out a poem. And I could refer you to Wiki article here:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot_%28prosody%29

But it has the same problem. It's hard to talk about the beat for something without actually having sound to describe it. I think it was my 9th grade english teacher that finally beat it into my head with all of his crazy clapping....

~Gallin

[heimdall]

Thaaaay

Jaaaaiil

Hehe...that 'almost' rhymes!

[SlothfulCat]

There was a Red Wizard from Thay
Given a statue for a historical fray
No longer red, no longer sane
His name the righteous disdain
Once a hero, now an ex prison-jay.

------------------------------------------------

Hows that Hemi?

[Retired DM Gallin]

Then maybe we should change the first line to something like "There once was a wizard in orange" and see what people can come up with

[regar]

Ahem, i'm an ametuer poet, so lets see what i can do

here's one for those who remember 2nd edition's youth potions:

There was a red wizard of thay
who decided his hair was too gray
he made a youth draught
but drank it for naught
for it turned him to dust, blown away

hey, this is fun, lemme give it another go

There was a red wizard of thay
who made a large golem from clay
it fell with a splat
and crushed the man flat
for the legs had far too much sway

Not enough in sculpting i guess

i think i'm a bit late, but i'm gonna stick em in there anyway

::Modified::

Oooh, i thought of another one

There was a red wizard of thay
who cast spells to turn night into day
but he was a fool
and fought the simbul
and now all he does is decay

::Modified... 2nd time in five minutes::

and another

There was a red wizard of thay
who let all his friends pass away
his name is szass tam
more marrow than man
and he lives on to this very day

::Modified... the next morning::

There was a red wizard of thay
whose brains all got melted away
a gnome, strange enough
then had the mage stuffed
and now he is in a display

There was a red wizard of thay
who angered a kingdom of fey
he thought since they're small
then naught will befall
but life seldom works out that way

[Retired DM Gallin]

Yay! He knows how to write them!

I'm rather fond of the second one myself (the toppling golem).

~Gallin

[Mehangel]

There was a Red Wizard of Thay
Alzegund or so ye may say
Thay, we was thrown out
Did not sit about
Joined on a Caravan that day

Would not return to his city
Most famous Red Wizard was he
Content where he is
On the road that's his
Wherever Alzegund may be

He would not return out of fear
That others might hunt he like deer
That spells they might steal
And fame they might peel
For thus he will stay very clear

Alzegund is not of his prime
Drained from an undead at this time
Lost power arcane
He now bares this stain
But he and fame still rings their chime

Alzegund or so ye may say
who was thown out of Thay that day
he lives through his pain
of his life arcane
who is a Red Wizard of Thay.

((Once again if the limerick is supposed to have only 5 lines please presume that it is the first 5 lines.))
------------------------------------------------------------
There was a Red Wizard of Thay
Who ran in robes, shade of red clay
Red Wizards mocked he
But they did not see
The mudslide towering over they
------------------------------------------------------------
There was a Red Wizard of Thay
The mage worked and wished not to die
He stayed in his room
Explosion did boom
Immortal draught his life did tie

((For those who pronounce Thay with a long I))
______________________________________

Then maybe we should change the first line to something like "There once was a wizard in orange" and see what people can come up with

There once was a wizard in orange
Who preferred to be out of sight range
Across the Sea of Stars
Within a home of Bars
The sight of it was in one word strange

[Fint]

There was a red wizard in Thay
Who drank to much wine on that day
He was clearly drunk
His intelligence shrunk
And his familair did not obey

Greets Fint*Where is the grass greener?*

[Retired DM Gallin]

mehangel said:

Then maybe we should change the first line to something like "There once was a wizard in orange" and see what people can come up with

There once was a wizard in orange
Who preferred to be out of sight range
Across the Sea of Stars
Within a home of Bars
The sight of it was in one word strange

There's no word in the English language that rhymes with orange (except itself), though I'll give you points for effort

~Gallin

[ShadowCatJen]

*cracks knuckles*

There once was a wizard in orange
Who with women he lacked great courage
With a wand in hand
He'd make like a man
But all he would utter was, "Porridge!"

[ShadowCatJen]

Another one, little risque and a bit of a slam, but Myn would probably come up with this...

There was a Red Wizard of Thay
To a Sunite Cleric did he pray
For every night
She'd send him to flight
For he hadn't the coin for her pay

[ShadowCatJen]

Heehee!

frc.proboards37.com/index.cgi?board=regalgriffon&action=display&thread=1151088402&page=1

Awful, just awful!

[regar]

Neat, some competition.

ok, how bout this.

There was a red wizard of thay
whom his country he did betray
evil lands left behind
new adventures to find
his new life he did not long delay

[Slanker]

There once was a Red Wizard of Thay,
Who thrived on others dismay.
And every afternoon,
Tortured gnomes with a spoon.
But in the evening sculpted kitties out of clay.

[grehmalkin]

There was a redd Wiz-ard of Thay...
Who cast burning Tam's hair away...
Sayd with stained grinn...
Whilst hacking at him...
'Skinn under your hair shall I flay...'

The Red Wiz-ard of Thay had a fright...
Cuz a bald smoking halforcs a sight...
So starting a spell...
None heard hym yell...
As his head from shoulders took flight...

In blood standing Tam said, 'oh...
I intended not to cut such a blow...
fore balding my pate...
my blade you ate...
*frowns* I've muddied my feet with a foe...

*grins with stained teeth*
'