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Post by Aodhan the Unusual on Aug 6, 2008 11:24:44 GMT -5
'flex' was the term folks That's what I thought, but at 4:30 in the morning, before coffee has had a chance to kick in, I just wanted to make sure. lol
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 6, 2008 17:27:01 GMT -5
Actually..we are both wrong, and I am editing the Deity entry to correct that. The term used was as follows.
Celandor Truflyt: **smiles at Ent and looks at his nads and felxes them* Aye.. I can
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Post by ashaffer on Aug 6, 2008 18:33:07 GMT -5
To all of you puzzled by all this talk of felxing, here you go:
Quinidar Siril: Well then seems we are all here... Quinidar Siril: Shall we? Entori Be'te'wa casting unknown spell Entori Be'te'wa casts unknown spell Quinidar Siril: -slings pack- Entori Be'te'wa casting unknown spell Entori Be'te'wa casts unknown spell Rastan Ashallown: A few more spells first, I think. Brin: Certainly... Entori Be'te'wa: *nods* Quinidar Siril: Well it is a bit of a walk there... Entori Be'te'wa: can you cast a mages armor? Brin: *slings her quiver over her shoulder* Celandor Truflyt: **smiles at Ent and looks at his nads and felxes them* Aye.. I can
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
What AnvilX actually meant to say is: **smiles at Ent and looks at his hands and flexes them*
Still, the typo gave us a really good laugh...
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 6, 2008 19:55:17 GMT -5
DM MunroeThe Vampiric Nemesis, The Fanged God, Rhapsodist of Rules, He Who Knows Nothing of Real Value, The Unchallenged Sage of Obsolete Lore Intermediate Deity of Useless Knowledge, Horror, and The UndeadHome Plane: The House of Useless Knowledge Aliases: DM Narration Symbol: Stack of D&D books ringed with a circle of gaming dice Alignment: Lawful Evil Portfolio: Rules, Source Material, Undead, Horror Domains: Law, Evil, Darkness, Rules, Numbers, Knowledge Favored Weapon: Unarmed Strike (Level Drain) Munroe is the creator of all undead in the world of FRC, he makes Velsharoon look like a bitch. Legend has it that he was once a mortal player on FRC, but his large collection of sourcebooks made him too tantalizing a target for the DM Team, and he was cursed with unlife and immortality; forever bound to the server. He is often referenced when there are questions no one else can answer (or no one else gives a damn about the answer to). He heads out the Unholy Triad of Useless Knowledge from his great throne made of D&D sourcebooks, located in the House of Useless Knowledge. Though he is sometimes bitter about his imprisonment by the other gods of FRC, over time he has accepted that to forever quote obscure references from source material is his destiny. History/Relationships:Munroe rules the House of Useless Knowledge, but doesn't punish his servants so long as they work hard at typing up long forum posts that most people will never read. The House of Useless Knowledge is a vast library of source material, it includes every book and module ever created for reference. His key servants are DM Ancient, and DM High Herald, but he also maintains friendly relations with mortals on FRC who pride themselves on collecting and memorizing D&D source material, such as Ailren, the Sage of Alizarin. He has no true physical form, so he must interact with mortals through one of his many undead minions. Dogma:Collect and quote useless knowledge and obscure obsolete lore whenever possible, just because people don't want to read it doesn't mean it shouldn't be written. When possible, answer queries with a direct quote from source material.
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Post by ancientempathy on Aug 6, 2008 20:00:08 GMT -5
LOL, YES! Finally!
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 6, 2008 20:31:52 GMT -5
DM AncientThe Forum Master, Master of the Written Word, The Brazillian Jesus, He Who Does not Cut and Paste Lesser Deity of Useless Knowledge and ProboardsHome Plane: The House of Useless Knowledge Symbol: The Scales of Justice, balanced by a mug of beer and a pile of chicken wings, overlaid by an open book Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Portfolio: Beer, Chicken Wings, Source Material, Keyboards Domains: Poultry, Beer, Chaos, Rules Favored Weapon: Information Ancient was a simple Brazillian villager in the distant past, he maintained a small farm where he cultivated beer and chicken wings. This caught the attention of a passing FRC Deity, Booze Hound, who granted him lesser deity status for a plate of chicken wings and a refill for his beer helmet. Though he arose from humble begginings, Ancient has quickly made himself indisposable as a sage of useless lore. He tirelessly copies entries from books without the aid of the virtual space known as the 'clipboard', to show his dedication to the Unholy Triad of Useless Knowledge. He spends his days maintaining the Temple of the Triad, which is hosted by Proboards. His greatest accomplishments as a deity include the creation of a chatroom no one uses, and the addition of subboards to the FRC Forums. History/Relationships:Ancient is perhaps the most visible of all of the Unholy Triad, appearing often in the mortal realm and rambling about rules and/or source material none of the players gives a damn about. It should be noted that his favorite rule is that the DM is always right. He will lie, cheat, and bend or break any of the rules and misquote source as he sees fit. Dogma:Though shalt not copy and paste, typing is religion. Consume beer and chicken wings before typing, and correct errors later.
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Post by Aodhan the Unusual on Aug 6, 2008 20:35:06 GMT -5
lol
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Post by ancientempathy on Aug 6, 2008 20:40:57 GMT -5
LMFAOOOOOOO!!! DUDE
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 6, 2008 20:43:49 GMT -5
I'm glad some of you are enjoying this as much as I am. More to come...stay tuned, because next, I make fun of myself!
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Post by Quadhund/Greenhouse on Aug 6, 2008 21:04:01 GMT -5
;D This is phenomenal.
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Post by Munroe on Aug 6, 2008 21:08:09 GMT -5
Hey, if I have Numbers as one of my domains, Greenhouse has to be the patron of number crunching and power builds or something.
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 6, 2008 21:39:47 GMT -5
DM High HeraldThe Dark Bard of the Sea, Demi-patron of Misteleportation, Patron Deity of Evil Bards, Dark Carp Demigod of Misteleportation and Useless KnowledgeHome Plane: The House of Useless Knowledge Symbol: Three shields bearing dragons and a pair of dark carp Alignment: Neutral Evil Portfolio: Bards, Non-Fourth Edition Source, Misteleportation, Evil Carp Domains: Music, Knowledge, Rules, Numbers, Darkness Favored Weapon: A lantanese pistol High Herald was once a mortal bard named Alyster Darkharp. He ascended to the status of Demigod recently by absorbing the intellect from three chromatic dragon heads that some well-wishers left on his doorstep. He hides his divinity behind the same mask he has always worn, and continues to pull the strings of a highly evil group of sages, musicians, and storytellers. He maintains a portal to the House of Useless Knowledge in the private bathroom of the Alizarin Academy in Marsember. In his godly form he appears as a green skinned halfling sorrounded by three ghostly chromatic dragon heads. The white wyrms head quotes first edition rules and source, and the two greens handle second and third edition to supplement this bard's already impressive knowledge base. He rails against fourth edition and drowns out any mention of it by quoting source from as far back as the original D&D pamplets. His dearest ambition is to allow his colleague, Ailren, to breath flames on all available copies of fourth edition books. History/Relationships:High Herald enjoys the company of most other deities on FRC, especially Aodhan, Batty, Munroe, and Ancient. He hates Pookey though, because this abomination admits to having purchased fourth edition rules books. Dogma:Destroy fourth edition, and hoard as much first, second, third and 3.5 source material as possible. Corrupt all bards and children through the use of education.
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Post by ancientempathy on Aug 6, 2008 22:28:14 GMT -5
that's excellent, yet again I was not expecting the dragon heads LOL Clever idea of stating the misteleportations too
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 6, 2008 22:31:02 GMT -5
that's excellent, yet again I was not expecting the dragon heads LOL Clever idea of stating the misteleportations too I figured I might as well just go ahead and make that whole episode into a joke.
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Post by Thrym on Aug 7, 2008 6:33:01 GMT -5
ROFL. I love this. Keep up the good work, Darkharp! ;D
P.S.: Tsk. Didn't the Zae tell you pistols are useless? *Shakes head*
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 7, 2008 12:10:41 GMT -5
DM GreenhouseThe Paramount Powergamer, The Hoard Filtcher, The Supreme Number Cruncher, The Tanscendant Rogue Greater Deity of Powergaming and ThieveryHome Plane: The Plane of Shadow Aliases: Greenie Symbol: His own fearsome visage Alignment: Neutral Evil Portfolio: Powergamers, Rogues, Mathmatics, Cheaters, Exploits Domains: Evil, Greed, Darkness, Numbers, Destruction Favored Weapon: Sneak Attack with the DM Kill Button Greenhouse has unparalleled skill at powergaming. Before becoming a member of the DM team he already had DM Speed, acess to the DM Kill Button, and the ability to take items from the inventories of other players (and DMs). Clever use of sneak attacks with the DM Kill button put the entire staff at his fickle mercy. Due to his unmatched skill at powerbuilding, he never needed to advance past 24th level to attain immortality. FRC lore holds that he was able to steal Justicar's DMFI wands and turn the entire DM team into penguins, then force them to reveal the password to the FRC DM Client. All of his characters qualified for Epic Feats before 10th level. The golden lion currency of FRC is backed by the Greenhouse standard. History/Relationships:Greenhouse is secretly envied by all of the FRC Pantheon for his prowess and his vast fortune. He is one of the few deities who has direct knowledge of the origins of Justicar, but he guards this lore closely. It is suspected by some other members of the pantheon that he earned his fortune by blackmailing the Founding Father of FRC with the information. Dogma:Seek the ultimate powerbuild, and unlock all moneymaking exploits. Use what power you have to cheat the system, especially if you attain the rank of DM.
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Post by Quadhund/Greenhouse on Aug 7, 2008 12:23:00 GMT -5
How did you find out?! There is so much truth in that ... AND ITS HILARIOUS!
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Post by ManyAsOne on Aug 8, 2008 9:45:08 GMT -5
DM Ancient The Forum Master, Master of the Written Word, The Brazillian Jesus, He Who Does not Cut and Paste Lesser Deity of Useless Knowledge and ProboardsHome Plane: The House of Useless Knowledge Symbol: The Scales of Justice, balanced by a mug of beer and a pile of chicken wings, overlaid by an open book Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Portfolio: Beer, Chicken Wings, Source Material, Keyboards Domains: Poultry, Beer, Chaos, Rules Favored Weapon: Information Ancient was a simple Brazillian villager in the distant past, he maintained a small farm where he cultivated beer and chicken wings. This caught the attention of a passing FRC Deity, Booze Hound, who granted him lesser deity status for a plate of chicken wings and a refill for his beer helmet. Though he arose from humble begginings, Ancient has quickly made himself indisposable as a sage of useless lore. He tirelessly copies entries from books without the aid of the virtual space known as the 'clipboard', to show his dedication to the Unholy Triad of Useless Knowledge. He spends his days maintaining the Temple of the Triad, which is hosted by Proboards. His greatest accomplishments as a deity include the creation of a chatroom no one uses, and the addition of subboards to the FRC Forums. History/Relationships:Ancient is perhaps the most visible of all of the Unholy Triad, appearing often in the mortal realm and rambling about rules and/or source material none of the players gives a damn about. It should be noted that his favorite rule is that the DM is always right. He will lie, cheat, and bend or break any of the rules and misquote source as he sees fit. Dogma:Though shalt not copy and paste, typing is religion. Consume beer and chicken wings before typing, and correct errors later. I am soooo calling Ancient 'the Brazilian Jesus' now.
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Post by ancientempathy on Aug 8, 2008 14:46:10 GMT -5
LOL Not sure how he thought of that one..Guess he liked the hair?
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Post by Munroe on Aug 8, 2008 15:38:04 GMT -5
I just want the secret of cultivating beer and chicken wings.
I mean, think of how economical it would be if you didn't have to grow the whole chicken or brew the beer.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2008 19:06:16 GMT -5
LOL Not sure how he thought of that one..Guess he liked the hair? This Deity title..like many of them, just popped into my twisted mind while I was daydreaming up these posts.
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Aug 10, 2008 20:10:31 GMT -5
DM MythWeilder of the Mythical Umbrella, He Who Calleth Down the Storm, The Scourge of Waric, Demipatron of Demiliches Demigod of Server Crashes and StormsHome Plane: The Gamespy Chatroom Symbol: Lightning striking an umbrella before a server Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Portfolio: Server crashes, umbrellas, demiliches Domains: Storms, Darkness, Death, Chaos, Lightning Favored Weapon: an umbrella Once a powerful human Sorcerer named Doust who was obsessed with lightning and killing Waric, Isenhold's town carpenter, Myth has since arisen to Demigod status. It has become evident through his immediate actions upon attaining divinity that his agenda has not changed. He created a powerful artifact known as the Mythical Umbrella recently and gifted Waric with it. Soon after the unfortunate alchaholic carpenter (and the entire server for that matter) felt his divine wrath. Myth's true goals other than the complete destruction of Waric and anyone who gets in the way are currently unknown. It is suspected that he wishes to wipe out Boozehound's worshippers and clergy though, and that this may have been the true root of his hatred of the unfortunate carpenter. He also apparently has a fondness for aiding demiliches against the intrusion of adventuring parties and is known to lurk about invisible and lock unsuspecting treasure hunters into their lairs. History/Relationships:As mysterious as most mythical creatures, Myth gives little away when it comes to his plans and followers. Anyone who carries an umbrella should deemed a suspected Mythic Cultist. It is also speculated that he may have gained some measure of his immortality through a pact with a powerful demilich. What is known is that Myth was native to the Gamespy Chatroom and was imprisoned in FRC. He crashes the server whenever he can to gain temporary freedom from FRC. Dogma:Give seemingly innocent fashion accesories to NPC's whenever you can in hopes of causing a server crash. Be a friend to powerful forms of undead and help them to wipe out adventuring parties when the opportunity arises. Special thanks to AVI Eupator for the information I used to write this entry.
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Post by The Retired DM ARIES on Nov 12, 2008 15:26:06 GMT -5
RAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
this is fantastic!
My entry is beautiful *wipes a tear and downs a beer*
*hic!*
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Post by ancientempathy on Feb 11, 2009 18:19:50 GMT -5
Darkharp when you going to post more of these? I'm in tears laughing here at all of this ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2009 18:48:02 GMT -5
Darkharp when you going to post more of these? I'm in tears laughing here at all of this ;D It comes and goes man, I'll post more when I am inspired to do so...which can happen at any moment.
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Post by Charon's Claw on Feb 12, 2009 18:35:19 GMT -5
Our only good aligned FRC God is Quasi Deity Mouse!
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Post by Masterbard Alyster Darkharp on Feb 12, 2009 19:10:07 GMT -5
Not true! Lies!
DM Boozehound is chaotic good!
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Post by Charon's Claw on Feb 12, 2009 19:20:39 GMT -5
He's perpetually drunk If he was sober I bet he'd be evil!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2009 23:15:15 GMT -5
He's perpetually drunk If he was sober I bet he'd be evil! He would at least have an evil hangover!
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z1gg3h
Proven Member
High Lord of Nipples & Questionable Marriages
Posts: 173
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Post by z1gg3h on Feb 13, 2009 0:02:28 GMT -5
Is Boozy always fighting against the Oh god Of Hangovers?
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