Where I've been, my headspace and I. (Creasus)
Mar 16, 2018 17:26:58 GMT -5
Spirit of a Phoenix, elvishnation, and 7 more like this
Post by PhatDorf on Mar 16, 2018 17:26:58 GMT -5
Hey folks!
I hope that everyone is well, and surviving in real life, and in-game.
Forewarning that this is pretty rambling, I talk about my feelings on FRC, where I've been for the last 6 months, about my gaming experience and my real life experiences. No obligation for anyone to read it all, I hope that some folks do, and get to know me a little more, but even if you don't - it's nice to write some stuff down and just let folks know "hey, im alive and coming back real soon."
I wanted to post a little update thread, as to where I've been. I know a couple of people have been wondering where the heck my PCs and I vanished off to.
The truth of it is, FRC takes a lot of time and dedication to get places and make changes that you're happy with. I daresay I echo some peoples feelings when i say that it's hard to keep going and being consistent, life happens, and stuff in game gets us down. Sometimes we need time.
Over the last few years, I've taken breaks from FRC to recharge. The latest one being about 6 months with little to no warning. I let people down, I let my friends down and my guild down when I was wanted, if not needed.
I love FRC very dearly, I don't think there will ever be a time that I stop believing that there's something really special about this place, and that with the right attitude we can all really enjoy it and get invested in some beautiful stories and experiences with each other. Much like real life, there are gonna be bad days, and there are gonna be good days. I've been made aware pretty recently, that my way of gaming is pretty... hot and cold.
I'm planning on changing that and pacing things a bit more. There's this prevailing thought in my mind, being the owner of a character who's a few years old now, and has been around to see at least a moderate amount of stuff happen on the server, and been lucky enough to be a part of it - Timezones suck, and missing things suck. I cannot be around, at all times, and it feels like if I want to be successful in my character's role, I gotta be in the right place at the right time -every- time anything happens. Well, tough Creasus, but you can't be, and trying to be is super dumb, Stop it. Stop.
So, the next month, at least, I've got a lot of shifts to do and then I'm flying off to visit my folks abroad, but after that - I'm really eager to get around more and spend time with the folks who want me around... and even some of the ones who don't
sorry, Dreshae's gotta job to do, as fun as it is being a filthy criminal scumbag.
(kidding, of course. Without conflict it's boring and neither of us has anything to really do. Team FRC > Team Good/Evil.)
I tend to throw myself at a goal, or a game with 100% of my thoughts and efforts - and for a while, I really get the positive buzz and vibes. But, it wears you down, whether you like to admit it or not. Another thing that does, is negativity, and general unhappiness with situations we find ourselves in. IRL and in-game both. I, like many of you I'm sure, try to be good folks and help others out when they're feeling rough... But it wears on us, on me. When you want to talk about FRC and your experiences, and the general whiff you get is upset it makes it tough to want to log in and hang around, despite how much we love the place and hope for all the potential to be fulfilled.
In regard to hearing people out, and their grievances, I don't think that I'll ever stop doing that, it's just how I aspire to be. Not that I'm a saint by any stretch of the imagination - gods know that I get frustrated and grumpy a whole bunch, and I want to extend a personal thanks to all the goofs who put up with my rambling. (including this wall of text here <3) and thank you for keeping me going day to day, when things aren't as shiny and bright as we may like them to be. And they certainly have a place, nothing is perfect, and to criticize something is not to try and take it down a peg, but to talk about what could be, if we apply ourselves and work for it.
I was a Player Advocate for a while, and while I'm no longer such, I like to chat OOC and see how people are getting on. So, my door is open always for folks who want to do that - though I still strongly encourage talking to actual PAs and DMs for important stuff!
So, I've been busy with work, busy with other games, and busy with life. But, FRC'll always be a welcoming home for me to return to. I might talk about taking time off, but it's never the end. I love this place and the people here. (yes, you. Even you.) And, that's where my head has been at this last few months of being away.
As for what I've actually been doing - video games. Shocker.
Well, and work. As some of you know I work for the NHS in the UK, which there are a lot of differing opinions on
I've been trying to get through to do my nursing qualification for a while now, and I was on the right track it seemed to get some financial support and start looking at potential ways to advance from my current job as a Healthcare Assistant (Auxiliary Nurse) to become a fully qualified Nurse. Well, that fell apart a bit, and while it's still a big goal in my life - It's on the backburner again for a bit.
But, in between shifts and working, I've been catching up on games that I like to dip into as a refreshing break from FRC.
So, here's some of the stuff I have been doing, and will likely dip into when I feel like a break to recharge.
Destiny 2. Phew, it's a love-hate relationship. I played a heck of a lot of the original, but I took a long break from that after release until they got the game together. The finished product was great, a really fun experience I got to enjoy with some of my non-FRC friends. Destiny 2 is.. getting there. It's slow, but I'm quietly hopeful.
Something that I think should be said, is that you can play the most godawful game in the world, and if you have some good friends and some dumb laughs - it's a good game still. I feel like D2 is there, right now. It's a fun place to hang around, but there's not enough there to really keep me going and dedicating lots of time to it.
I've always enjoyed the PVP, since I was younger I've played First Person Shooters, on account of my stepdad introducing them to me when I was a wee baby. I think the first FPS game I played was "Spear of Destiny".
So, I've achieved my goal that I never quite got the team together for in Destiny 1, which was to "Go Flawless". There's a ranked playlist every weekend for PVP where the big streamers and highskilled players hang out and try to get 7 wins in a row with 0 losses, to get a big reward. The game types can vary, and it's generally pretty intense. Lots of tactical play, stressful but fun. Well, we did it. I met a couple of cool guys, who had the same goal and together we did it.
Otherwise, I was enjoying just playing PVP with what was arguably the worst weapon in the game The single-shot grenade launcher "The Fighting Lion". It's secretly a pretty damn good weapon, but you need really steady aim to make it work. It's hit and miss with me, but It's rewarding when people celebrate when they manage to kill ya 
I must be doing something right.
We beat the 6-man raid too, but that's not such a big deal. PvP > PvE in these kinds of games. You can't play around AI patterns with people, and switch off your brain. Not bothered with the new raid yet, Im sure I'll do it at some point, but it's not exciting to me.
Besides that, as it was a bit longer ago I was playing Destiny 2 heavily, Monster Hunter World came out! I've been a huge fan of Monster Hunter for years. Back when I was a kid in school, I remember being a big ol' nerd and playing on my PSP during lunchbreaks whacking the big nastiest things I could find, and making cool weapons with their claws.
(Wow, so my PSP still works.. just about. Got a nice surprise seeing my wallpaper was actually this image here: i.imgur.com/9DLFZ.png ...That made me smile.)
What a tryhard, geez.
So, the new Monster Hunter was a really nice and nostalgic trip back - while being a pretty damn good game in of itself. It's Capcoms best selling game at 7.5 million sales worldwide, on consoles alone. If you're into the style of it, I think it comes out on PC later this year.
Here's an (admittedly spoilery) video of me taking down the hardest quest in the game currently, solo, without any deaths. Don't watch it if you don't want to know what some of the end game bosses are.
I've dabbled in RPGmaker a bit on and off, but it always felt like my creative energy is used up doing that, or playing on FRC and I can't do both It's fun, but it's not something I think I'll ever go really serious and hard with.
If you made it this far, thanks for going through. This wasn't aimed at anyone, just made as a general sort of post to keep people informed and say a little bit about me behind the screen.
I'm pretty sure those who arent bothered wont read this, so, no big deal. But those who do, hello!
I'll be seeing you around soon enough.
- Creasus
I hope that everyone is well, and surviving in real life, and in-game.
Forewarning that this is pretty rambling, I talk about my feelings on FRC, where I've been for the last 6 months, about my gaming experience and my real life experiences. No obligation for anyone to read it all, I hope that some folks do, and get to know me a little more, but even if you don't - it's nice to write some stuff down and just let folks know "hey, im alive and coming back real soon."
I wanted to post a little update thread, as to where I've been. I know a couple of people have been wondering where the heck my PCs and I vanished off to.
The truth of it is, FRC takes a lot of time and dedication to get places and make changes that you're happy with. I daresay I echo some peoples feelings when i say that it's hard to keep going and being consistent, life happens, and stuff in game gets us down. Sometimes we need time.
Over the last few years, I've taken breaks from FRC to recharge. The latest one being about 6 months with little to no warning. I let people down, I let my friends down and my guild down when I was wanted, if not needed.
I love FRC very dearly, I don't think there will ever be a time that I stop believing that there's something really special about this place, and that with the right attitude we can all really enjoy it and get invested in some beautiful stories and experiences with each other. Much like real life, there are gonna be bad days, and there are gonna be good days. I've been made aware pretty recently, that my way of gaming is pretty... hot and cold.
I'm planning on changing that and pacing things a bit more. There's this prevailing thought in my mind, being the owner of a character who's a few years old now, and has been around to see at least a moderate amount of stuff happen on the server, and been lucky enough to be a part of it - Timezones suck, and missing things suck. I cannot be around, at all times, and it feels like if I want to be successful in my character's role, I gotta be in the right place at the right time -every- time anything happens. Well, tough Creasus, but you can't be, and trying to be is super dumb, Stop it. Stop.
So, the next month, at least, I've got a lot of shifts to do and then I'm flying off to visit my folks abroad, but after that - I'm really eager to get around more and spend time with the folks who want me around... and even some of the ones who don't
sorry, Dreshae's gotta job to do, as fun as it is being a filthy criminal scumbag. (kidding, of course. Without conflict it's boring and neither of us has anything to really do. Team FRC > Team Good/Evil.)
I tend to throw myself at a goal, or a game with 100% of my thoughts and efforts - and for a while, I really get the positive buzz and vibes. But, it wears you down, whether you like to admit it or not. Another thing that does, is negativity, and general unhappiness with situations we find ourselves in. IRL and in-game both. I, like many of you I'm sure, try to be good folks and help others out when they're feeling rough... But it wears on us, on me. When you want to talk about FRC and your experiences, and the general whiff you get is upset it makes it tough to want to log in and hang around, despite how much we love the place and hope for all the potential to be fulfilled.
In regard to hearing people out, and their grievances, I don't think that I'll ever stop doing that, it's just how I aspire to be. Not that I'm a saint by any stretch of the imagination - gods know that I get frustrated and grumpy a whole bunch, and I want to extend a personal thanks to all the goofs who put up with my rambling. (including this wall of text here <3) and thank you for keeping me going day to day, when things aren't as shiny and bright as we may like them to be. And they certainly have a place, nothing is perfect, and to criticize something is not to try and take it down a peg, but to talk about what could be, if we apply ourselves and work for it.
I was a Player Advocate for a while, and while I'm no longer such, I like to chat OOC and see how people are getting on. So, my door is open always for folks who want to do that - though I still strongly encourage talking to actual PAs and DMs for important stuff!
So, I've been busy with work, busy with other games, and busy with life. But, FRC'll always be a welcoming home for me to return to. I might talk about taking time off, but it's never the end. I love this place and the people here. (yes, you. Even you.
) And, that's where my head has been at this last few months of being away. As for what I've actually been doing - video games. Shocker.
Well, and work. As some of you know I work for the NHS in the UK, which there are a lot of differing opinions on
I've been trying to get through to do my nursing qualification for a while now, and I was on the right track it seemed to get some financial support and start looking at potential ways to advance from my current job as a Healthcare Assistant (Auxiliary Nurse) to become a fully qualified Nurse. Well, that fell apart a bit, and while it's still a big goal in my life - It's on the backburner again for a bit.
But, in between shifts and working, I've been catching up on games that I like to dip into as a refreshing break from FRC.
So, here's some of the stuff I have been doing, and will likely dip into when I feel like a break to recharge.
Destiny 2. Phew, it's a love-hate relationship. I played a heck of a lot of the original, but I took a long break from that after release until they got the game together. The finished product was great, a really fun experience I got to enjoy with some of my non-FRC friends. Destiny 2 is.. getting there. It's slow, but I'm quietly hopeful.
Something that I think should be said, is that you can play the most godawful game in the world, and if you have some good friends and some dumb laughs - it's a good game still. I feel like D2 is there, right now. It's a fun place to hang around, but there's not enough there to really keep me going and dedicating lots of time to it.
I've always enjoyed the PVP, since I was younger I've played First Person Shooters, on account of my stepdad introducing them to me when I was a wee baby. I think the first FPS game I played was "Spear of Destiny".
So, I've achieved my goal that I never quite got the team together for in Destiny 1, which was to "Go Flawless". There's a ranked playlist every weekend for PVP where the big streamers and highskilled players hang out and try to get 7 wins in a row with 0 losses, to get a big reward. The game types can vary, and it's generally pretty intense. Lots of tactical play, stressful but fun. Well, we did it. I met a couple of cool guys, who had the same goal and together we did it.
Otherwise, I was enjoying just playing PVP with what was arguably the worst weapon in the game
The single-shot grenade launcher "The Fighting Lion". It's secretly a pretty damn good weapon, but you need really steady aim to make it work. It's hit and miss with me, but It's rewarding when people celebrate when they manage to kill ya 
I must be doing something right. We beat the 6-man raid too, but that's not such a big deal. PvP > PvE in these kinds of games. You can't play around AI patterns with people, and switch off your brain. Not bothered with the new raid yet, Im sure I'll do it at some point, but it's not exciting to me.
Besides that, as it was a bit longer ago I was playing Destiny 2 heavily, Monster Hunter World came out! I've been a huge fan of Monster Hunter for years. Back when I was a kid in school, I remember being a big ol' nerd and playing on my PSP during lunchbreaks whacking the big nastiest things I could find, and making cool weapons with their claws.
(Wow, so my PSP still works.. just about. Got a nice surprise seeing my wallpaper was actually this image here: i.imgur.com/9DLFZ.png ...That made me smile.)
What a tryhard, geez.
So, the new Monster Hunter was a really nice and nostalgic trip back - while being a pretty damn good game in of itself. It's Capcoms best selling game at 7.5 million sales worldwide, on consoles alone. If you're into the style of it, I think it comes out on PC later this year.
Here's an (admittedly spoilery) video of me taking down the hardest quest in the game currently, solo, without any deaths. Don't watch it if you don't want to know what some of the end game bosses are.
I've dabbled in RPGmaker a bit on and off, but it always felt like my creative energy is used up doing that, or playing on FRC and I can't do both
It's fun, but it's not something I think I'll ever go really serious and hard with. If you made it this far, thanks for going through. This wasn't aimed at anyone, just made as a general sort of post to keep people informed and say a little bit about me behind the screen.
I'm pretty sure those who arent bothered wont read this, so, no big deal. But those who do, hello!
I'll be seeing you around soon enough.
- Creasus
"
