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Post by mandene on Apr 27, 2017 12:46:04 GMT -5
I have many hilarious facts... But I keep forgetting them. This one is funny. We are working as subcontractors for the his huge company that also are subcontractors (and we have subcontractors too). Our client had laptops shipped to us so that we could connect to their system. One of our guys had incredible issues with his PC for ages. One of the things has been inability to get outlook working. He's been calling and calling the It and nothing. Finally, he went there with his laptop. Finally they got his Outlook working. And in his inbox he found about 50 or so e-mails telling him "IT-issue ticket <insert weird number>. If you don't answer this E-mail, we consider the issue fixed and will close it."
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Post by malclave on Apr 27, 2017 13:28:13 GMT -5
Finally they got his Outlook working. And in his inbox he found about 50 or so e-mails telling him "IT-issue ticket <insert weird number>. If you don't answer this E-mail, we consider the issue fixed and will close it." Reminds me of an old Dilbert cartoon I had up on my cubicle
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Post by mandene on May 3, 2017 7:57:56 GMT -5
"It's great to work in 2 projects at the same time. Because if you don't get anything done during the day, you can blame it on the other project."
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Post by mandene on May 5, 2017 8:57:37 GMT -5
1) I'm trying to send an install-file to a co-worker - nothing works because of the "security". Finally I decide to use dropbox, and while finishing the mail I can hear him say something. It takes me a moment before I realise he said to me:
"Just print it out". Me: "What? Why would I print out the e-mail. I'll just send to you a link to it instead of the file itself." Co-worker: "No, I mean print out the file". O.O
2) Co-worker 2 is trying to install the application. The sacurity-system shows him a pop-up window for the choices he has, like "Block it" and "Remove it". He claimed the third one was:
"Run away"
(I'm pretty sure it was "Run anyway", but we laughed at it for a while).
Yeah... Fridays.
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Post by malclave on May 5, 2017 10:17:10 GMT -5
2) Co-worker 2 is trying to install the application. The sacurity-system shows him a pop-up window for the choices he has, like "Block it" and "Remove it". He claimed the third one was: "Run away" (I'm pretty sure it was "Run anyway", but we laughed at it for a while). Is your security system a rabbit?
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Post by mandene on May 5, 2017 10:20:49 GMT -5
2) Co-worker 2 is trying to install the application. The sacurity-system shows him a pop-up window for the choices he has, like "Block it" and "Remove it". He claimed the third one was: "Run away" (I'm pretty sure it was "Run anyway", but we laughed at it for a while). Is your security system a rabbit? We actually thought of that one.
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Post by mandene on May 8, 2017 4:05:15 GMT -5
A man and a woman, working at the same company, and good friends to boot had to go on a business trip. To save some money, they decided to take one double room (with two beds), instead of 2 single rooms. When they arrived at the hotel, the receptionist asked them this question before giving them the keys:
"Are you two married?" "Yes, but not to each other", answered the guy.
They ended up having to take two single rooms - the hotel refused to give them the double room (even though they would have separate beds).
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Post by mandene on Jun 1, 2017 4:11:33 GMT -5
Helpful coworkers:
"How long does it take after a move before the last box is unpacked?" "Few weeks" "Give it maybe 1/2 a year? "After you renovated everything." "Bah, 16 years. That's how long I've lived in my house, and the box is still untouched."
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Post by mandene on Jun 2, 2017 11:14:34 GMT -5
My boss bought a house few weeks before I did. Shortly after we had a small party. The guys were telling her how much of a bother it is to have a house, all the costs, maintenance, things that can break and go wrong. Finally she cried out in frustration "Are therevreally no pros with having your own house?"
"Sure there is" was the answer. "You can barbecue".
It was the only one.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2017 13:11:28 GMT -5
Out at lunch right now
Know those machines that have toys inside? You use a joystick to direct a claw to get the toy?
2 kids went to play it, one won...the other?
"HOLY CRAP! That is like MAGIC!"
haha
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Post by Animayhem on Jul 2, 2017 2:37:13 GMT -5
At work we have SKYPE. In my position I need to communicate with all sorts of people. I had a chat open and was finishing up assisting a provider when they typed a message for another, So instead of saying oops or mistake, they said "Mistell" I responded back "Gamer"! And they said they were and played an online game
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Post by mandene on Jan 10, 2018 11:02:12 GMT -5
Here's an old one, but I've been reminded of it today: "I got a phone call. When I answered there was an Indian guy telling me that he's from Microsoft Support, that there was a problem with my Windows and that they were going to fix it. At that time I didn't use a PC, I was using MacBook, and that's what I told them. The guy answered that it's OK, they support Macs too."
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Post by mandene on Jan 18, 2018 18:19:04 GMT -5
Soo... I had the weirdest job interview today. I was headhunted. I talked with some guy on the phone about the company and the job they headhunted me for... Few days later this girl calls me. We talk for a bit and then arrange for an interview with a 3rd person - interview was today. I went there, meet the guy... and.. and.... he works for ANOTHER company than the one I was headhunted for, and got interview for totally other position than they proposed to me from the start (so basically another company and another position). O.O
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Post by mandene on Jan 19, 2018 10:54:26 GMT -5
Soo... I had the weirdest job interview today. I was headhunted. I talked with some guy on the phone about the company and the job they headhunted me for... Few days later this girl calls me. We talk for a bit and then arrange for an interview with a 3rd person - interview was today. I went there, meet the guy... and.. and.... he works for ANOTHER company than the one I was headhunted for, and got interview for totally other position than they proposed to me from the start (so basically another company and another position). O.O An update So the first guy called me today and apologized for the confusion. He said that they considered me for both companies and positions, but that he missed telling me that during our first talk. So I am considered for both, but it's up to me which one I will want, before they will make a final suggestion, because both companies don't want to compete against each other... ... LoL
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Post by mandene on Feb 12, 2018 14:27:28 GMT -5
This happened to me last week. It wasn't at my work, though it was during working hours, and it was at someone else's work.
So, ahem, lets restart.
Around my lunch hour + some time off work around that lunch hour, I went to my hair dresser. It started to feel like I was sitting there longer than usual, waiting for the color to set in. Finally I realised that all the hair dressers started to act weirdly and running around looking fairly stressed, until I realised what was going on - the water was off. About the time I heard my hair dresser's voice "We need to rince, like, RIGHT NOW!w
*chickenwing*. I started to wonder what I will end up looking like. Will the color look crazy-funny? Will my hair burn to crisps and I will end up looking like I have cancer?
Finally I get called to the back room where the washing is happening. The women apologised to me profoundly. They had some clean water saved in a bucket, just in case. They told me they would use the bucket water on me. I agreed - what choice did I have, right? They apologised for the water being called. So I told them, why not boil some of it and then mix it with the cold water. They beamed up at the idea, I sat down and waited.
They came back with the bucket now with warm water. They decided they needed to be two - one massaging the hair, the other one pouring the water. The woman that was pouring was surprisingly bad at controlling it. She even managed to get water on my face. At some point a third one looked into the room and said.
(wait for it)
.....
.....
.....
"Why don't you use a jug, or a pitcher?"
There's a pause behind me, and the one rinsing my hair exclaims "Of course! You're so smart!" And then pouring continues, now with better precision.
"You're so smart! This is so much easier to aim with."
I thought... OMG was she using the bucket the whole time?
*sigh* I guess stress really messes with your head.
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Post by mandene on Feb 16, 2018 10:04:37 GMT -5
The IT Support strikes again!
The new guy gets a newly configured laptop and realizes he didn't receive the password to it. He calls the IT support and here's the conversation:
Guy: "Hi, my name is ....... and my ID is ........ I received my new computer, but I don't have a password." IT: "I will need to configure it for you in the system. I will send you the new password in an e-mail." Guy: "I can't read my e-mails. I don't have the password for my account." IT: "Oooh... ... .... ...Alright....... .... I will call you in 15 minutes. When I call you, don't answer your phone." Guy: "Eeh.... why?" IT: "I can't be sure that you are you, when you answer your phone. So instead it's better if I tell you the password on your voice-mail."
......Yeah....
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Post by malclave on Feb 16, 2018 10:25:02 GMT -5
IT: "I can't be sure that you are you, when you answer your phone. So instead it's better if I tell you the password on your voice-mail." Makes sense if the voicemail has a password on it.
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Post by mandene on Feb 16, 2018 11:04:40 GMT -5
IT: "I can't be sure that you are you, when you answer your phone. So instead it's better if I tell you the password on your voice-mail." Makes sense if the voicemail has a password on it. But that's unnecessary, to know who you are is what the special "ID" is for - We use it to let the IT know that we are we by saying the name and the ID (in itself i'ts like a login and a password). All the IT guy needs is for you to repeat it again when he calls back.
You could claim that the person who calls the first time and asks for help is not the person he claims to be. And if that someone (who isn't you), already has your name and your "ID", they are most probably calling from their own phone, which they have the voicemail password to. And if they did get the hold of your phone, who is to know they don't have the capability to change the voicemail password on it?
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Post by malclave on Feb 16, 2018 12:36:23 GMT -5
Makes sense if the voicemail has a password on it. But that's unnecessary, to know who you are is what the special "ID" is for - We use it to let the IT know that we are we by saying the name and the ID (in itself i'ts like a login and a password). All the IT guy needs is for you to repeat it again when he calls back.
You could claim that the person who calls the first time and asks for help is not the person he claims to be. And if that someone (who isn't you), already has your name and your "ID", they are most probably calling from their own phone, which they have the voicemail password to. And if they did get the hold of your phone, who is to know they don't have the capability to change the voicemail password on it?
Ah, might be a different setup than where I worked. There, the ID number was printed on the employee badge... so if someone walked away from his desk leaving his badge and no one was in a nearby cubicle (everyone from the section is at lunch or a meeting, for example), someone else could have used the phone at his desk to place the call.
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Fenix
~
Sleepless Golem, aka Kenny
If you read this, send me a love note.
Posts: 2,183
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Post by Fenix on Feb 16, 2018 16:20:06 GMT -5
The IT Support strikes again! The new guy gets a newly configured laptop and realizes he didn't receive the password to it. He calls the IT support and here's the conversation: Guy: "Hi, my name is ....... and my ID is ........ I received my new computer, but I don't have a password." IT: "I will need to configure it for you in the system. I will send you the new password in an e-mail." Guy: "I can't read my e-mails. I don't have the password for my account." IT: "Oooh... ... .... ...Alright....... .... I will call you in 15 minutes. When I call you, don't answer your phone." Guy: "Eeh.... why?" IT: "I can't be sure that you are you, when you answer your phone. So instead it's better if I tell you the password on your voice-mail." ......Yeah.... ....what
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Post by Warlord on Feb 17, 2018 9:02:17 GMT -5
They're a bunch of confused viking peeps with all the new tech. It's understandable!
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Post by Animayhem on Mar 9, 2018 12:42:18 GMT -5
Happened Today (3/9/18)
I sent a hello message to a co worker via Skype which just said, "TGIF" They replied:
" You must have ESPN. I was about to send you the same message."
At the VA we have a police force. I saw an oak leaf cluster on the lapel of one of the cops. He confirmed he was a major. Well me being me I thought " A major pain in the ass." Naturally I did not say it. Almost as soon as it popped into my head the cop said :
"Yes, I am a major. Major Pain in the Ass."
The Lt , myself and the major burst out laughing.
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Post by mandene on Mar 23, 2018 9:15:07 GMT -5
"We will try our best to have it as soon as possible."
(During a sales meeting)
"It's not crystal clear but it's reasonably clear."
(During the same sales meeting)
"How long is an English hour anyway?"
(Said 2 hours after we've been promised to receive something within an hour from an English colleague)
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Post by mandene on Mar 7, 2019 7:24:51 GMT -5
During the lunch, after discussing (inter)national cuisine, our Canadian coworker said this:
"I tend to say this:
We could have had French cuisine, USA technology and British culture.
Instead we have French technology, USA culture, and British cuisine."
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Post by mandene on Sept 20, 2019 5:59:22 GMT -5
Best quote of today (and it's just after lunch time).
We have a requirement saying "The product shall withstand 3 drops from 1.2 m (approximately 3.9 feet) onto a concrete floor. This shall be tested by dropping onto a predetermined face in order to incur the most damage (i.e. the joint between the front and top cover plates)."
We just found that WHO regulation (that we need to follow) states: "Impact resistance: Product to withstand 5 drops from 1 meter onto a concrete floor, with battery in place, without physical damage or loss of calibration."
I discuss it with another engineer the impact this might have on the current design and how much we might have to change it.
So I finally ask "Is there really such a big difference in construction between having to be 5 drops from 1 m, or 3 drops from 1.2 m."
Colleague: "I don't know. If I took a baby, which would you prefer, 3 drops on it's head from 1.2 m or 5 drops from 1 m. I have a difficulty to decide it myself which is better."
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Post by malclave on Sept 20, 2019 6:46:20 GMT -5
Colleague: "I don't know. If I took a baby, which would you prefer, 3 drops on it's head from 1.2 m or 5 drops from 1 m. I have a difficulty to decide it myself which is better."
Let me guess... being engineers, you decided that the only way to resolve the question was through empirical evidence, so you went out and found two babies (hopefully twins to reduce the number of variables), and...
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Post by mandene on Mar 11, 2020 15:42:22 GMT -5
Soo... ahem...
One of my coworkers approached me today and said she's now my neighbor.
Soo... I know she's been friends with one of the neighboring families, and has been visiting with them.... I've known that family since before I moved into this neighborhood. The wife used to be my coworker at another company, and the husband (who works at our local University) has sometimes been helping us out as "expert"...
The neighborhood gossip has been that the wife has moved out from the house.
Apparently this whole thing has happened without any drama. I don't want to know which order things have progressed in... buuuut....
It's not really my business, but I find this whole thing difficult to compute. As I said, I know all three of them and this is now giving me the creeps.
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